Who Am I?

Actually, I know who I am. I have many titles though: First and foremost, the biggest title I have is 'Mom', but my first title I received was 'Wife', for without this first title, I wouldn't have the title of mom. Those that know me know I married my high school sweetheart. Actually, we started dating just after 8th grade and I had just turned 14! I always say when I think of my own kids at 14, that is way too young! LOL! But I knew I would marry this person I met at this young age.

Now imagine staying with the same person since that age...growing up together, maturing together, tough ages too! Peer pressures, school pressures, family pressures, life pressures! We made it, but it wasn't all smooth. I really tested our relationship, part of that was due to me just trying to figure out who I was. We came from two totally different backgrounds. To survive all of my 'tests' my partner had to be strong or just as strong as I wanted to be. We both graduated from college and then married.

So then came my second title and THE title that I am known for, 'Mom'. Since I was little, I knew that is all I wanted to be, a mom. So now that I was a stay at home mom in a world where families are made up of two incomes, I didn't give myself credit for being a stay at home mom. Being a stay at home mom was my choice though, along with my husband. In the beginning wow, we were naive and good thing, because we thought we had made it as a family of three and my husband was making an income of $35,000.00 in 1992. We became a family of four two years later and we were still a one income family. As our family grew, so did my husband's career and thus, so did his income level.

We have been a family of five since 1998 and STILL a one income family. I think people assumed my husband's income was very high due to his title at work, people assume way too much don't they? But today yes, we are very, very fortunate and blessed. We made it work in the past, we prioritized, Skip worked very hard at work but I never, ever prayed for more money. I prayed always for things to work out, but never for more money.

With my title of mom came more titles: Scheduler, Room Parent, Chauffer, Team Manager, along with the automatic titles of Cook, Maid, and Nurse. This is what I 'signed' up for though. BUT with all these titles, I lost who I was, who was 'Kim'? As mothers, we put everyone ahead of ourselves(dads, I know you do the same, but this is about me right now and this is my blog, ok?). It's tough being a parent, it's tough being a career person, it's tough living life!

So how did I find myself? It took a lot of hard work, determination, AND maturity. I have made mistakes in the past, who hassn't? Hopefully we learn from the mistakes(which I have, thank goodness)and I finally put myself FIRST! I have learned that I 'allowed' myself to put myself first and I allowed myself to be deserving. I have gone thru a lot in my past and everything I felt I attached myself to was somehow 'taken' away. Those that know me know my story, it' a long story! I think it all started by being validated, we all need validation. I got validated by someone I hadn't even met or talked to, amazing how things work. That was just the beginning...

The next huge step for me was to step out of my comfort zone. That came in 2005 when I traveled to Korea for the first time all by myself. Needless to say, I was scared, you-know-what-less! My whole world literally opened up for me and I haven't stopped since! I talked a little bit about my travels, but it's more about my growth within. I gained a new title in the past two years, 'Board of Directors'. Wow huh? And to think I was a little orphan at one point...

What title am I most proud of? My M-O-M title. To be a mom was what I always wanted to be and I achieved it! My proudest title. And with my growth, I have given myself credit for my choice to be a stay at home mom(I always want to preface by saying that this is my life, my choices, whatever anyone else decides to do, good for you, be happy with your own choices, I know my limits and I know I could not be both a full-time worker and a full time mom, because no matter what, you are always a full time mom) .

I have given myself the right to deserve all that is good in my life, I've come a long way. I'm still growing and maturing and it's a good thing, I love this stage in my life. I woudn't trade my past, for my past made me who I am today, but I would never want to start all over again! It's great seeing my own kids grow and do what they want to do. I loved school, I had my fun and now I'm still having fun doing what I want to do! It's a great feeling knowing who I am! Trust me though, I still have my moody days!!

Tradition

With Christmas traditions, we set up the Christmas tree or trees in our case. So then comes the tradition of taking them down...not what I always look forward to, BUT we had to do it today...me and my big mouth! I got Skip all fired up, but more than just taking down our trees, he was in a cleaning frenzy! He cleaned out his closet, again..he cleaned out his closet before winter...I know, he's out of control! Must have been inspired by watching his favorite movie last night, "Braveheart". I hate to be his new group of employees at work this week, watchout! We did clear out a lot of things today so I do feel better and the house looks better. And ladies, stand back, he's all mine: This is how he decided to dress for our day of cleaning! Poor Erika, even her boyfriend saw him this way!! I tried to warn him before he came in...I think Erika is numb to it all by now. I said this is what turning 41 looks like huh. I can't wait til he turns 42!! Wa wa wee woo!!

Good Morning, Good Year

Kind of weird to wake up on January 4th and that be the first day of the new year waking up at my house. What a wonderful 2007 I had. Looking back, wow! I have grown up so much(finally)and I can say I am very proud of myself. I know I am a calmer person too which is such a great feeling, I think of it as peace within. I don't know if peace comes from years of life experiences or a mind set, in my case I think it is both. I have learned that I can only control myself and therefore, controls my emotions and my outlook. I think Skip and the kids appreciate my peace within too because it really has made me a happier person. Not that I wasn't happy growing up, it's about being happy with myself.

I have come out of my shell and stepped out of my comfort zone to the point that I want to share this feeling with others. I have told my life story in public several times now, something I dreaded growing up, getting in front of people and speaking. When I tell my story, I tell people that this has been my life and my views and my way of dealing with life. I am not telling others they should or should not feel a certain way. Every person has a story to tell and when you start telling your story, you never know who you will touch.

I look back at my travels and amaze myself that my first international traveling I did was in 2005 when I was 38 years old. I love traveling and when I was little, I wanted to travel the world so after high school, I really wanted to join the Peace Corps, but went onto college instead as that was more expected of me. So now I am amazed I get to travel the world. I know, I know, having the means to travel and the flexibility to travel like I do helps, but with anything in life, if you put your mind to it and prioritize, you can achieve your goals. Skip and I had some very, very lean years, our choice, but we made it work and now we have been blessed with our patience.

After my panic attack with my passport before my last Korea trip, I made sure to renew my passport immediately upon returning home, which I did and I got my new one before our trip to Hawaii so now I am ready to travel once more! Where do I want to travel to this year? China is first and foremost on my list to see Holt's programs there. I want to go back to Vietnam and see the finished product of the orphange our work team 'worked' on. In Cambodia, I would like to see the progress of our family preservation program and the continued growth of the PAK computer learning lab. I loved all of the staff I met in Vietnam and Cambodia. What great dedication and passion they all had for our children.

Our other countries that Holt is involved in of course I want to travel there too, this year will be busy! My other travels this year will also include college visits for my oldest daughter, I can't believe that! Spring break, we have a family trip planned to NYC. Other places I want to travel for fun: Australia, Jamaica, Africa, Alaska, another Hawaiin island, Swedan(gotta see Skip's motherland!)and all the usual sights within the United States that I have yet to see.

Our family is very busy with three kids in school, all three kids in all of their activities, but I make it a point to make it work and most importantly, fit in fun family outings.

I have met many new friends during my travels too. What a bonus for me. I do make it a point to stay in touch the best I can. I know life gets busy for people but like all things, making the effort to stay in touch is up to me. So for those of you I have met, thank you for your continued friendships and for touching my life. 2008, here I come!

Pictures from our day heading home

After lunch, ya gotta have dessert: Mouth is watering...If you want to catch 'The Bus":Just look for "TheBus":Chilaxin at the gate...Erika is in the background talking to Todd...awww:Brick Breaker playoff:
Now it's Skip's turn, think Kora is spent(with eye mask on):

Maybe the ledge is more comfortable:
Yes, I have to agree, the ledge is more comfortable:
Ummm, I didn't sign up for this adventure...help!
Erika, don't be hatin':

Parasailing

Here's the gang waiting(once again in the rain)to board the boat for parasailing.

Looking at the fish as we continue to wait... Yes! Here comes the boat!The chute all of a sudden takes off!
The shoreline behind us:
Kora and Daddy showin how cool they are in Hawaiin: It's almost time for Kora and Daddy:Hold on tight Kora! And they're off:Now look how high they are, 1,000 feet!Can you see them?
Erika and Taylor taking off!
Wow, they are high:
You really can't tell, but these two are really blowing around, it was windy:A message being sent up to Erika and Taylor, says "Out of Gas" it was funny:Here they come: Safe landing!
Taylor is ready to be done, he's soaked! The driver cuts the engine and those that are parasailing, you get dipped into the ocean then brought back up:
Everyone getting their gear off an finding some 'dry' clothing:

Everyone had a great time. The driver and helper on the boat were great guys. Was rainy and windy, but anyone knows you have to experience parasiling if you haven't.

We headed back to our hotel room, we consolidated into one room so everyone got showered and dressed and ready to hit the road. Our flight didn't leave until 8:00pm so we still had the whole day ahead of us. So we chose to do Skip's favorite thing, SHOP! Found another mall, THE one Erika has been wanting to shop at because it has a Juicy Couture store in it. She was in heaven! Not too sure about Skip when he had to use the credit card again! But Erika did get some ca-ute clothes!

We had lunch in the very crowded food court, there are just so many people around Waikiki! Did some more shopping, but we all soon 'pooped' out and headed to the airport early, which is an understatement, we got there at 3:30, but it was nice just chilaxin at the gate.

We arrived home safely, tired but safe! Always nice to be home and use your own shower and have more than one room to walk around in. Now for the laundry...Reality strikes again even though I did laundry while at the hotel, but I have to say, I had a wonderful time with my family. The experience of Waikiki and having everyday with just my family, priceless! I have been blessed with such a great start to the new year, I can't wait to have fun in 2008!

The End...

Our last official night in Hawaii...sad, yet will be nice to be home. Home is always great; you get to sleep in your own bed(Skip and I will actually sleep together again! We've been sleeping in separate beds this whole vacation, now is that sad when in 'paradise'?); use your own favorite pillow; use your regular sized toothpaste; use regular sized shampoo and conditioner; have more space than just a bathroom and a bedroom; not having to live out of a suitcase; having my own ice maker; not having to drink out of plastic cups; and no more sand in places we can't speak about. But now who is going to make our beds daily? Who will give us clean towels daily? Who will pick up our trash daily? Who will deliver room service? Who will tidy up our room daily? Guess it's back to reality! We've had a great trip. Everyone has been having a good time. Skip has really been sooo good about relaxing and getting everything out of this trip. I think our credit card survived and so did Skip's blood pressure.

Today we went to Diane's mother's place for a traditional Japanese/Hawaiin New Year's Day family feast. We had a nice visit with all of Ken and Diane's family. My family was gracious to take time out of their day to come along with me. We then HAD to get back to our hotel and get out in the sun, the sun actually showed up today! We spent a relaxing time in the ocean and/or catching rays on the beach then next to the pool. I've been blessed with great kids and a wonderful husband. I know I am very lucky to be able to give my kids this type of vacation. But I know for Skip and I, it's all about family and living in the moment together! Tomorrow, Skip and the kids will go parasailing. I will be in charge of taking pictures. This will be Kora's first time parasailing, we have all done it before in Maui, Kora was only 3 years old then. What a great way to end a vacation in paradise, flying in the air like a bird! Aloha and love to all!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!! WOW...2008!!

This is my brood sharing dessert we brought back from PF Chang's, please stand back and watch your fingers and toes for that matter with this crowd!: The best laid plans...Skip and I tried so very hard to stay awake for the fireworks and ring in the New Year, we couldn't do it. The sad part, it was only 9:45pm and we went to bed. Taylor said he would wake us up. 2008 arrives and I wake up from the sound of fireworks so I go out to the lainai. The kids' room was completely dark and no movement from within. Guess Taylor won't be waking up! Skip rolls out of bed and joins me to watch the fireworks. I know everyone has seen fireworks so just putting one picture on here. They were good, but not as good as our Omaha one, believe it or not. The only cool thing was the fact that they were shot off in the ocean. So please use your imagination looking at this one picture:
The fireworks lasted about ten minutes. Back to bed we went, gave a quick squeeze to one another, wished Happy New Year and back quickly to sawing zzzzzzzz's.

This is the way to wake up in 'Paradise':

Why do I put the word Paradise in quotes? Because, paradise is where ever you are in the moment. For those of you that know me, you know I LOVE the snow and especially a good blizzard, that is paradise for me too. I love the four seasons really. I love Spring and watching the blooming of life, the green of the grass, the blooms of the flowers. Summer, I have to say my least favorite, BUT I love this season because summer is when my kids get to be kids and hang out with all of their friends all day and all night. We don't have to worry about schedules as much so it gives us all a time to relax! Fall, I love Fall! I have wonderful memories of walking each of my kids when they were young and not yet attending school and pushing them in the stroller and the leaves were falling on us as if it were a blizzard of leaves...it was so peaceful, just me and my baby...I have done this with each of my kids and if only I had a good camera back then, I would have taken pictures, but I truly enjoyed the moment with each of them.

As this is the new year, I stopped making new year's resolutions long ago because that put way too much stress and disappointment in my life if I didn't achieve the resolutions. I try to live life to it's fullest, anyone knows I love to have fun and live life with a sense of humor. I don't take myself too seriously, I can laugh at myself. And how lucky am I that I found my soulmate at such a young age and we balance each other out so well. I am thankful that Skip can laugh with me and at me too and we can laugh at each other and most importantly, with each other. We both know when to turn on our maturity switch, but life is too short to always have that switch on! This is the way I live life, I am not saying how anyone else chooses to live their life is wrong. Remember, this is my blog and my thoughts only. No judging from me; I've been judged all my life so I try not to judge others. Just live your life like you want to, not how others want you to.