Anniversaries

Day to day, we all look at the calendar to make sure we know what day it is. As we all know, time goes by way too fast. I know people think I am so cliche about living everyday to the fullest, but I really do. I have a lot of anniversaries that I celebrate:

The anniversary of my birth, tho the date is estimated, I still celebrate it and embrace the day.

My first gotcha day, traveling to America to my adoptive family at the age of 4 1/2.

My second gotcha day 15 months later and surviving the past 15 months of horrendous physical abuse.

The day my hubby and I were 'officially' dating at the age of 14.

The day I married my high school sweetheart.

The birth of our first daughter.

The birth of our son.

The birth of our second daughter.

Surviving seven hours of brain surgery in 1999.

Surviving a seizure in 2001 while driving out of a parking stall in Westminster, Colorado(today's anniversary).

Traveling to Korea for the first time in 2005.

So many anniversaries, I think I could list all of life's moments, big and small, but that would entail my entire life history. I believe everyday I wake up is a great anniversary. I'm not cliche, I'm just realistic and live everyday to the fullest.

Remembering 9/11

The morning of 9/11 is clear as can be in my mind. My husband called me and told me to turn on the tv, something was happening in NYC. I saw one tower already in flames, what the heck was going on? Then the second plane crashed into the other tower, I was in shock. I knew it was deliberate, I had chills, I was horrified. I felt helpless watching, but what could I do, what could anyone do? Then reports of two other crashes, my heart sank.

Then one tower collapsed, I couldn't believe what I was seeing, I didn't know for sure if I was seeing it correctly, just horrifying...then the second tower collapsed...two towers, disappeared into thin air, chaos, horror on the faces of people running from the collapse, I wanted to get my family and keep them safe in my home and never let go of them.

All flights had been diverted and told to land, no one was allowed in the air. Then I heard a plane overhead...I knew it was Air Force One with President Bush flying to Strategic Air Command. I went outside and actually saw Air Force One, chills...

I watched the news constantly that day and night, I was still in shock and couldn't believe this horror happened. How does one continue life as usual? We don't, but we do live on for the sake of our families and begin to unite as the United States of America.

Empathy Stress

When our children go thru life events, we as parents go thru it with them and stress along with them. I think we as parents stress even more for our children because we want things to go smoothly and go the way they had envisioned. We want our children to avoid the hurt and disappointment if things don't turn out. So hard not to be in control of these situations. Life isn't always fair and our children have to experience these ups and downs. I just wish I didn't stress out so much for them!

I think I do a good job of not showing my stress to my kids, at least I hope so. No matter the outcome, I always feel the relief of it being over. But then again, there is always something around the corner isn't there? Time to regroup, take a deep breath and hope for the best for the next life event.

So last week, my oldest daughter was going thru rush at college. I never went thru rush, but know enough about this event that I was totally stressed out, not only because I hadn't gone thru it, but also because I really didn't know much about the sororities. I tried my best to read background information on a few of them and of course, I picked out one that I thought best fit my daughter. But then again, this wasn't about me. All I could do was 'advise and support' from afar.

I would get updates daily on the activities and which house would be cut from her choices. The stress!!! Ahhh!! So Bid Day was yesterday and my daughter decided to 'suicide' and bid for only one house...more stress and I had to wait all day to hear if it was official or not...breathe...breathe...

The outcome...she got her bid!! PHEW!! And btw, she's in the house that I had picked from the start that I thought would best fit her, I DO know my daughter so well!! Way to go my Alpha baby!

Too Close to Home

Before we decided on our current house, we were also thinking of another house on a lake. We took a family vote and we all chose our current house. Then we heard of a boating accident at the other lake in June, one person died and the driver of the boat had been drinking.

I had thought to myself, "I am so glad we didn't choose that lake". I admit it, I was being a snob and thought to myself that our current location, the residents would know better...not so. There was a boating accident Saturday night. We weren't here, but we heard about it from family and friends the next day.

Like the other boating accident, the driver of this boat had been drinking AND was speeding at 10:00 at night. He rounded the corner and slammed into the sea wall. Seven were on board and two fell out. One died the next day in the hospital.

How tragic for both families. We found out the driver of the boat lives across from us and now I stare at their house thinking how much suffering is going on in their house.

The family of the deceased of course are suffering a great loss. They have been on tv quite a lot. So heartbreaking to see the four young daughters and wife in such pain. The wife was also on the boat when this all occurred. Imagine seeing your loved one in the lake at night, how horrifying.

I do have sympathy for the owner of the boat, but mostly for his family, they now have to suffer the consequences of his actions. We have witnessed the kids out on the boat late many nights. As a parent, I would never allow this. Now the father has paid the ultimate price for his actions and now so has his family.

We all have to take accountability for our actions. We are role models for our children. They see and hear everything we do from how we act inside the house to out in public. Just watch and listen to little kids play, it's amazing how they pretend to be adults and say the exact things you just said. They hear things we don't think they hear, they see how much we drink or don't drink. We send them the messages that it's okay to do things even if we say they cannot.

I'm not saying I don't have faults, I certainly do, but I am aware of how I act and what I say in public, but most importantly, in my own home.

My prayers go out to both families for they are both suffering now.

Cookin up a Storm!

With a new house came a new focus on getting back on track with cooking meals. We got into a slew of take out dinners only because our kids' activities are right at dinner time. We are a family of routine and our routine family dinners were always at 6:00pm sharp. Then came the activities and right during dinner.

I have always loved to cook, but cooking the same old, same old really did get old. My family has their favorites, but I got tired of making them all the time. Now I can incorporate the tried and true with new recipes. My family is all for me cooking, they love it actually. I'm the only one going thru take out withdrawal.

I love to eat, but when I cook, I never try my cooking during the making process. I only try the new recipe when it comes down to sitting down and eating it. I've only had one or two bad recipes and I know to stay away from those. Now I'm in a whole new mode of trying new recipes. My kids have to eat whatever I make because I am not their personal cook(tho I really am).

New house, new cooking with gas, new atmosphere, maybe that is what inspired me. Ok, besides the fact that grocery stores and restaurants are a little further than what we were used to. But that's all ok, I'd take this new everything over the same old, same old anyday!

Are we 'normal'?

My husband and I have had many questions over the weekend regarding sending our daughter off to college. Of course, many questions regarding if we 'survived' letting her go. Our response, 'We didn't have a problem at all letting go and we didn't shed a tear'. People are shocked at our response, guess we aren't the 'normal' parents, especially since this is our first child going off to college.

I guess my husband and I look at letting go as a huge celebration, not of her not being home, but a celebration of her starting a new life on her own and we as parents adjusting to a child in college and only two children at home. We want to show our daughter we have faith in her that she can make it on her own. We are excited for her and look forward to hearing how things are going for her. It's an exciting time for all of us, a new chapter.

'Freedom' comes for both children and parents when it's time for college. We wish our daughter well with her new found freedom. Now we will have to see if we are 'normal' when it comes time for our youngest to go off to college, but um, that won't be for awhile!

No Tears or Fears

Many parents go thru this change in life when they take their sons or daughters to college. I wasn't sure what I was going to feel when this occurred in my life. Is the experience different when the child is your first born or your last child, I'm sure it is. I have two kids still at home, so no empty nest.

I think the anxiety for me is letting go of doing everything for my daughter. I think it will be worse for my daughter than for me tho. I wanted to be a stay at home mom, so doing everything for my kids is what I signed up for. But now I have let go of one child to let her be 'on her own'. No fear of her not being able to make it, she will get into the groove soon just like all freshmen do. But oh what a change for her.

Getting her room set up yesterday, we did a nice job and her roommate was already settled, but the size of the room....most of us have gone thru it and made it but now comes the time to share EVERYTHING. I have to admit, I loved college, but I do not envy the small living quarters. No privacy, no space, no personal bathroom. This is such a rite of passage tho isn't it?

Things sure have changed since I attended the same college my freshman year 24 years ago. Moving in day is so much more organized AND they had other students available to help you move in all your belongings along with providing big carts! That would have been so very helpful when I lived on the 3rd floor. The dorm I was in, no a/c, no wireless internet, no cable tv, no cell phones, we had to talk in the hallway on the two phones there. And now the dorms are coed!?! I sound like a very old person now.

The time came to say our goodbyes and most of you know, I am a very emotional person(so is my hubby)but we didn't shed one tear! I think my feelings were of excitement moreso than sadness. I want my daughter to enjoy her college experience and take it all in. This is a time for growth for my her, but we also grow as parents as we learn to let go of our children and see them as adults. I wish her well!