Exhausted and Exhilirated

I never seem to feel rested when I am in Korea. Guess that is due to such a busy and packed schedule. One time, I will need to come to Korea to do absolutely nothing. But then again, I love interacting with everyone that is in the group. I have made some life long friends from my trips here and cherish every memory I have from my trips.

Today was the day the adoptees became honorary citizens of Korea from the Mapogu District. I went thru this ceremony in the summer of 2006. It was wonderful to see my youngest daughter get up on stage and receive this honor. She was very cute, as usual. Taking pictures of all the adoptees at one time was like being in front of the paparazzi. Our tour group shared the ceremony with a tour group from Denmark. It still amazes me to hear the thick accent coming from a Korean adoptee.

Prior to the ceremony, we stopped to tour the World Cup Soccer Stadium. I think Taylor, Erika and Skip enjoyed this little stop. It is pretty awesome to see in person. I had seen it on my very first trip in 2005 and I even took the subway all by myself!

Our tour after lunch was a visit to Ilsan. It was pouring rain so it wasn't looking too nice for the tour, but our's would be cut short anyway, as my family had to leave 30 minutes after our arrival to go to the interview. We did manage a family picture at Harry and Bertha Holt's graves though, that was my one request on our short visit there and also to shop at the gift shop. Which I did manage to buy a very pretty vase from there! I haven't done much shopping here since we've been here! I did manage a half hour of shopping though before dinner and found my Korean gong I wanted, I was so thrilled to have found it at my vendor's!! I'm still giddy over it!

Back to the interview. Guess it wasn't a tv interview, but more of a press interview for an ad in the newspaper for my birth family search. No preparation on my part, I just agreed to do one since one was set up for me. I answered questions asked by the reporter as he video taped it. Holt had given them my adoption information already. My family and I answered questions regarding our feelings traveling to Korea and how my family felt about me doing my birth search. Amazingly, I was very calm throughout the entire interview.

The only thing that kind of threw me for a loop was when he asked if I would like to give a video message to my birth mother. Yikes, I wasn't prepared to do that, but I did. I looked into the camera and said, "To my birth mother, if there is a chance to meet you in person, I would love the chance to do so. I wanted to be able to thank you in person for giving me life, for without my life, I would not have my family you see behind me. I do not have any anger or resentment towards you for the circumstances surrounding my birth. The decision you made to do what you did, I can understand and I am grateful for the life and opportunity I had in the United States. I would like to have a relationship with you and also with any other family members. I would like my family and children to be able to have the opportunity to have you in their lives as well. I will continue to travel to Korea and I hope someday, I will be able to meet you on one of those travels."

What will become of this ad, I don't know and I don't have any expectations. I just know this was the only method for me at this point in my search. I feel calm and at peace with how my journey is going. There is no script for life no matter how you came to be and there is no script for how one is to feel during certain life moments. All I know is that life is too short and I do truly try to live each moment as it comes and not worry about the little things in life. Whatever comes my way, I know I can handle it.