What Really is the Reason for the Season?

This time of year, it gets very hectic; shopping, planning, hosting, more shopping, cooking, baking, decorating. We all experience this and it can be very overwhelming.

I do truly love this time of the year. I love shopping, planning, hosting, doing more shopping, cooking and decorating(with the help of my mom and sister).

But then when I hear of such sad news, like this morning, of a very close friend, it brings me back to what the reason of the season is really about...family. I have focused on family all my life, whether it was me as an orphan dreaming of a family of my own; knowing how my first family was treating me was not right; the blessing of having yet another family; and then the ultimate, my very own family.

I try to live life being grateful for all that I have been blessed with. I thank God daily for giving me the life I am living and I'm talking about actually living, not what I have.

I know the circle of life happens daily, but when it hits close to home, it breaks my heart and especially this time of year. So hug your kids, hug your parents, hug your family.

On a Whim

I sent my family's Christmas card and letter to my first adoptive parents this year. I wonder what their reaction will be. I didn't write anything personal to them, just the letter and card like we do for everyone else on our Christmas card list. They are ages 84 and 86? Have they 'softened' in their later years? Will I hear from them? I doubt it. I think they, especially the mother, want to forget about me, even though she stated she still had pictures of me. I haven't sent anything to them since 2007 and never heard anything back from them.

What would I do if I were in their shoes? I hope I would have asked for forgiveness from God, then respond back to my child and ask for forgiveness and actually say sorry for the abuse. I hope I would be that type of person.

Snow

More like LOTS of snow! Usually I am the first one to step up to the plate and go out to shovel the driveway and front porch, but not this time. Our first BIG snow in our new house and wow, did we get snow! Over ten inches, but with the wind, came the huge snow drifts.

Looking out my front door, yes, I could see the drifts, but looking from the outside, the drifts were way taller. The plow came thru and right in front of our driveway, the snow drift grew even taller. And the drift in front of our door, was about three feet tall.

So I sent my two kids outside to shovel the front porch. Of course, my hubby says that is the reason why we had kids...he's kidding! But really, they are 11 and 15 years old, they can do it, it builds character. They did a nice job and I know they felt like I usually do after I shovel, they felt a sense of accomplishment for all the hard work. You can see the result from my facebook badge to the right.

We decided to hire a plowing company to plow our driveway for us. It's a good thing we did! It took him 50 minutes to clear out the end of our driveway with the huge snow drift! Our neighbor across the street is doing his by hand, lotta work since the drift covered his entire entrance to his driveway. We at least had the other end not covered by a drift to enter or exit.

And that brings me to my hubby. He decided to go into work yesterday morning. I woke up to find the garage empty. I texted him to see if he was at work. His text back a few minutes later said, 'Trying to'...what did that mean? All I could imagine was him being stuck in the ditch. A text later said he was helping a neighbor dig out...from where? The entrance to our street. The entrance hadn't been plowed, no kidding!!

The neighbor had a smaller car, my hubby has an Enclave. And he was prepared, he had a shovel with him and wore his non work clothes. His car got stuck so he would dig part of his car out, sit in the car for five minutes to warm up, I didn't mention that it was blizzard conditions in the morning...then he'd go out again and dig some more. The neighbor gave up and walked home.

My hubby continued his quest to dig out. Once he accomplished digging his car out, he still had to manage getting out of our entrance so he knew he had to gun it and go for it...I'm so glad I wasn't in the car with him! He said he gunned it and poof! White all over the place and when the snow settled, he gunned it again and making sure to note where the light pole was-all I could do was text, 'Crazy' to him...he made it out and into work. Needless to say, everyone that works for my hubby was disappointed that he made it into work, they thought for sure since we live further out that he wouldn't make it into work. They should know him better by now! And it's not because they don't like working for him, it's because they like to make bets on everything!

So now my kids are home with me again today, third snow day in a row. No more snow today, just very cold temperatures, -18 degrees windchill. The regular temp started off in the negatives!

The snow is beautiful tho, it truly is a Winter Wonderland here, I love it!

Today is My Gotcha Day

And this is the jacket I wore when I came to my current family. I look at this jacket and it speaks volumes to me. It shows how small I was at the age of 5 1/2yrs old. It shows the time of year, winter. Inside, I wrote my name on it, as if I was claiming it forever, three simple letters, K-i-m, written in the oh so familiar writing of a kindergartner. This jacket was all I had from my past, but look at it closely, it shows style, it shows warmth, it shows hope.

Hope is what I take from this little jacket. I knew leaving my first family is what I wanted, I knew it was right. I was shown a picture of my current family and asked if I wanted to live with them, I didn't hesitate, I nodded my head 'yes'.

Granted, I didn't remember my Gotcha Day every year, but as I am getting older and wiser and more grateful, I cherish this day more and more. This day marks the third time in my life at living the life God intended for me.

I was the typical child, the typical teenager, the typical young adult. Life is great when you get a chance to live a typical life. Now I live a typical life with my own family. But typical is far from how we live. We live a BLESSED life and without my Gotcha Day, I wouldn't have this BLESSED life!

Searching For...

My four siblings from my first adoptive family in Minnesota. I don't remember any of them, but do know their ages range from 42 years old to 52 years old. I was with this family from September 2, 1971 to December 1, 1972.

My last name with this family was Hansen. My full name was Kimberly Sue Hansen. The current ages of the parents today, 83 and 85.

In 2007, I did speak with the mother on the phone, the internet is an amazing tool. I never knew the parents' first names until 2006, quite by accident too. I thanked her and her husband, for they were the ones that were responsible for bringing me to the United States and I wouldn't be here today if it weren't for them. She agreed. I didn't mention the abuse, she was the abuser, but I did tell her that I didn't have any anger or resentment towards them. I let her know I was living a wonderful life with my own family today and how involved I was with Holt International and giving back. She told me she still had pictures of me and that she should send them to me, I told her that would be great. I never received them. I asked her about her husband, she said he was sitting right next to her and that he was fine. I asked her to please let him know I was doing great too. I asked her to then let my siblings know I was doing great if they ever thought about me and to give them my contact info if they ever wanted to contact me. That is when she told me their ages. A month after our conversation, I sent her a picture of my family with a note saying this was my greatest accomplishment. I never heard from her again. I didn't expect to.

But, I would like to meet my siblings. I have always wondered if they remembered me. I have a sibling that is the same age I am. Not sure which other siblings were adopted too, I know a few were domestically.

I attended Valley View Elementary School in Bloomington, Minnesota, which I don't remember either. I did make contact with my kindergarten teacher though! She doesn't remember me too clearly but does remember me being this little dark-haired little girl.

I think some people get the wrong impression of me doing this sort of search. I am not in anyway, disappointed with my life now and need to connect for the purpose of being complete. It's about giving peace of mind to others that maybe wondering if that little girl made it in life and is happy today. I don't live my life with regrets, I don't need anything more in my life, I have so much to be grateful for. It's about making connections, it's about making peace with my past, it's about giving peace to others, it's about forgiveness, it's about being grateful.

No Trip to Korea..

I'm so bummed out, but not surprised. Not sure how I will feel later tho since I have been going on this trip every year since 2005. I will miss the babies, kids, adults, foster mothers, unwed mothers, and Holt-Korea staff. I just hope everyone will still have gifts to open without our team there. Please keep everyone in your prayers that they may enjoy a few new gifts this year.

Travelling Stories

When I travel, I usually travel by myself. I had to go to New Jersey over the weekend for Holt's Board of Directors annual meeting.

I tend to observe people a lot when I travel so here were my thoughts(sorry for those on FB, some of this maybe a repeat of what I wrote):
>Why do I check in online for my flight if I HAVE to use the kiosk at the ticket counter? Wasn't online checking invented to avoid having to go to the kiosk?
>Why is it that people have their cell phone ringers on LOUD? How annoying when they don't answer it on the first ring, or the second or even third ring...you can't hear your phone ringing?? Um, everyone else can!!
>So why do people talk loud when they are on their cell phones? Do I need to hear your business plans, your weekend plans, how drunk you got? Really people, do you not know the technology of cell phones and the ability for cell phones to pick up on your 'normal' speaking voice, your INDOOR voice?

Prior to my travel to New Jersey, I booked a shuttle from Newark to my hotel. I arrived in Newark early, but my shuttle pick up wasn't until an hour and 15 minutes later. So finally the shuttle arrives, you can't even understand the announcements when the time comes for the shuttle.

Pack in the luggage, pack in the people, I'm way in the back with two others, but it's not overstuffed like my experience in Cambodia. So the driver stopped, got out and ran into the airport again...where the heck is he? Driver comes back, stops again after a few feet of driving, goes back into the airport...comes back with one more passenger, she gets shotgun.

Onto the hotel, finally! Or so I thought. We have to drop off everyone else at their hotels along the way, oh joy! By the time I got to my hotel, it was close to 7:00pm, mind you, I arrived in Newark at 4:00pm...long wait and drive.

The hotel was huge, needed bread crumbs to find my way around. Got to my hotel room, freshened up and off to dinner with the rest of the board members. I had a committee meeting scheduled at 8:00pm. Nice fellowship at dinner and meeting went well. Now off to bed. I go to the hallway to my room...or so I thought. I wander up and down the hall looking for my room, where the heck is it? I've been walking around for at least 10 minutes, seemed like an eternity. Found out I was in the South wing, my room is in the North wing...I told you I needed bread crumbs to find my way! Ended up being a short night with not being able to fall asleep right away and waking up every hour.

Fast forward to my flight home Sunday morning. Reminded me of The Amazing Race...I decided to take the train with four other members rather than deal with the shuttle again. Our taxi was scheduled to pick us up at 4:45am. Of course, he's late. Didn't impact my flight, but a couple of others. Our ride, a town car, loaded up the luggage, three men in the back and me riding the hump in the front right next to the driver. Brought me back to being a kid again. The driver decides to bring us to the back of the train station thinking we could catch the train there...none of us had our tickets, how was that going to work? No access to the train this way...duh? The driver was quite the character tho, yes, typical Jersey man and I'm not stereotyping. He was interesting to listen to.

The man who punched our tickets, stereotyping again, but really...he was funny too. We all had a good time chatting with him everytime he came thru. I don't think I could do this type of commuting daily, but guess if I had to, I would. All of us went our separate ways once at the airport. I hope everyone got on their flights ok.

I got to my flight, barely ate the muffin I bought, I do this all the time, one would think I would stop buying them since I don't eat them. Boarded the plane. About time to depart, but here comes an announcement: "There is a small fuel leak, shouldn't be a big deal, will run the engines and will sometimes get this cleared up." What? A fuel leak isn't a big deal? Yeah, right...a few minutes later, another announcement saying it is a bigger deal and will need to get it checked out by mechanics but this isn't a United problem anymore so need to contract out for mechanics and see what they say. Really?? Not looking good. The verdict, need a part, the part isn't in Newark, of course! Flight is cancelled. Good thing the plane wasn't full, I got out very quickly and in line at the ticket counter. Planning ahead and called United as I stood in line. Booked a flight out to Denver, but needed my boarding passes printed out as that flight was boarding as I was waiting!

I made it on the flight to Denver. With changing flights, I was stuck in the middle seat. To my left was an elderly woman and to my right a gentleman. As we waited for take off, more passengers came on board. Two young ladies and a baby boy ended up sitting behind me and the elderly lady. About five minutes later, the elderly lady's seat was being hit from behind. She turned around and asked if her seat was going to be kicked the entire flight. The mother and companion were very young so responded very sarcastically to her. I thought to myself that this was going to be a very long flight. I asked the lady if she wanted to switch seats with me to avoid her seat being kicked the entire flight as the baby was right behind her. She didn't want to trade as she liked the window seat. Okay, was hoping for the best!

No further kicking...so now came snack time. The lady asked the flight attendant what was the snack, the not-so cheery flight attendant showed her the magazine of choices. I was telling the lady that she had to pay for any snack items. She was confused and dazed and when it came time to get the food, she declined any snacks. Then the drink cart came and the lady wanted a snack. So back to the first flight attendant, what was available, how much did it cost, she stated she had $20, I told her she had to pay by credit card only. She stated she didn't think she had a credit card...I was going to pay for it if she didn't but then found a visa gift card her daughter had given her. She also ordered white tea...never heard of that. So she finally got set and she was a happy camper.

Second round of drinks later into the flight and the lady ordered white tea again. The ever-so-cheery flight attendant gave her plain tea. I told the flight attendant the lady ordered white tea, got the milk, weird combination. Anyhoo, then the lady is shifting around holding her tea an spilling all over herself. I grabbed some more napkins off the cart to help. She continues to move around and continued to spill more tea, I asked her what she wanted and she was looking for her other half of her muffin. I held her tea for her so she could avoid spilling more since she was spilling onto me by now.

Our flight is coming to an end, finally, so now the lady is searching frantically for something. I again ask her what she is looking for. She is looking for her reading glasses. She is trying hard to pull her carry on bag from the floor, I help her with that. She searches frantically every nook and cranny. In the outside pocket, she pulls out a pair of scissors that are at least 6 1/2" long, I was wondering how she was able to get thru security with that. I know passengers can now carry scissors onto the plane, but this pair was pretty big. Anyway, she continued to look thru her fanny pack, her carry on again, her coat, her seat. I asked her questions about if she had them when she boarded. I continued to help her look thru her fanny pack again, her carry on(Ground Hog Day), then she got side tracked and was frantic about her luggage tag, she couldn't find it and thought her boarding pass was the luggage tag sticker. I showed her mine and she did find it, so I pulled the little square sticker off and stuck it onto her boarding pass so it could be found easier.

About to land, still no site of her glasses, but she continues to look. I told her I would look under all the seats when we landed. Sure enough, when I asked the girls behind us, her glasses were under her seat. So I help her get her jacket on, get her carry on bag, get her newspaper that she kept dropping and off we go. I sure hope she found her way to the luggage claim area!! I had to get some food for myself, hadn't eaten anything but the three bites of my muffin from early morning. I ordered my usual, a hamburger Happy Meal from Micky D's. Oh so tastey!

I made it home safely, my mom took care of getting my kids here and there. Of course, my hubby was out of town Sunday for the day visiting our oldest daughter, but I had everything and everyone covered. It's always good to be home!!!

It's Official...

I'm heading to Korea in December...AGAIN! Finalized the flights and now I need to prepare for travel, it's coming up really soon! Really, I wasn't going to go this year, but it's Christmas time and I love bringing Christmas to the children we serve at Holt.

I always feel so blessed I can travel like I do and this trip, it holds a very special place in my heart and it always will.

Mean Girls

I hate em...

This Ain't Your Mama's Toga Party!

Um, seeing my daughter in her version of a toga, wow! Fancy, fancy! Remember the days of bed sheets for togas? Makes me feel really old now. No wonder she didn't take my recommendation of using one of her bedsheets from school, not even the blue one. My, how times have changed....

Does the Day Match Your Mood?

Normally, the days don't match the mood I'm in, but today, it really, really does. As I sat catching up on emails, I saw the winds change from south to north and wow, very windy with rain.

I usually love rain, okay so I love the rain today, but I would rather be in bed, but I can't because it's day four of the audio installation. It should be done today, at least I'm hoping.

I was woken out of a sound sleep and haven't been steady since. Life's moments are ones that I never take for granted, the good and the bad. The sad news I received today, breaks my heart. As an adult and a parent, I want to protect anyone from this sort of news, especially my family.

All I can do is pray, put my trust in God that he will heal all those that are feeling so many emotions today. Heal the soul's that are burdened by so much in today's world, heal those that feel broken, sad, and lonely. For we are not alone. I had heard from somewhere, not sure exactly, but about the footprints prayer. Someone said if God is with them, how come there are only one set of footprints? The response: "Of course he's with me, God was carrying me"...Amen

Anniversaries

Day to day, we all look at the calendar to make sure we know what day it is. As we all know, time goes by way too fast. I know people think I am so cliche about living everyday to the fullest, but I really do. I have a lot of anniversaries that I celebrate:

The anniversary of my birth, tho the date is estimated, I still celebrate it and embrace the day.

My first gotcha day, traveling to America to my adoptive family at the age of 4 1/2.

My second gotcha day 15 months later and surviving the past 15 months of horrendous physical abuse.

The day my hubby and I were 'officially' dating at the age of 14.

The day I married my high school sweetheart.

The birth of our first daughter.

The birth of our son.

The birth of our second daughter.

Surviving seven hours of brain surgery in 1999.

Surviving a seizure in 2001 while driving out of a parking stall in Westminster, Colorado(today's anniversary).

Traveling to Korea for the first time in 2005.

So many anniversaries, I think I could list all of life's moments, big and small, but that would entail my entire life history. I believe everyday I wake up is a great anniversary. I'm not cliche, I'm just realistic and live everyday to the fullest.

Remembering 9/11

The morning of 9/11 is clear as can be in my mind. My husband called me and told me to turn on the tv, something was happening in NYC. I saw one tower already in flames, what the heck was going on? Then the second plane crashed into the other tower, I was in shock. I knew it was deliberate, I had chills, I was horrified. I felt helpless watching, but what could I do, what could anyone do? Then reports of two other crashes, my heart sank.

Then one tower collapsed, I couldn't believe what I was seeing, I didn't know for sure if I was seeing it correctly, just horrifying...then the second tower collapsed...two towers, disappeared into thin air, chaos, horror on the faces of people running from the collapse, I wanted to get my family and keep them safe in my home and never let go of them.

All flights had been diverted and told to land, no one was allowed in the air. Then I heard a plane overhead...I knew it was Air Force One with President Bush flying to Strategic Air Command. I went outside and actually saw Air Force One, chills...

I watched the news constantly that day and night, I was still in shock and couldn't believe this horror happened. How does one continue life as usual? We don't, but we do live on for the sake of our families and begin to unite as the United States of America.

Empathy Stress

When our children go thru life events, we as parents go thru it with them and stress along with them. I think we as parents stress even more for our children because we want things to go smoothly and go the way they had envisioned. We want our children to avoid the hurt and disappointment if things don't turn out. So hard not to be in control of these situations. Life isn't always fair and our children have to experience these ups and downs. I just wish I didn't stress out so much for them!

I think I do a good job of not showing my stress to my kids, at least I hope so. No matter the outcome, I always feel the relief of it being over. But then again, there is always something around the corner isn't there? Time to regroup, take a deep breath and hope for the best for the next life event.

So last week, my oldest daughter was going thru rush at college. I never went thru rush, but know enough about this event that I was totally stressed out, not only because I hadn't gone thru it, but also because I really didn't know much about the sororities. I tried my best to read background information on a few of them and of course, I picked out one that I thought best fit my daughter. But then again, this wasn't about me. All I could do was 'advise and support' from afar.

I would get updates daily on the activities and which house would be cut from her choices. The stress!!! Ahhh!! So Bid Day was yesterday and my daughter decided to 'suicide' and bid for only one house...more stress and I had to wait all day to hear if it was official or not...breathe...breathe...

The outcome...she got her bid!! PHEW!! And btw, she's in the house that I had picked from the start that I thought would best fit her, I DO know my daughter so well!! Way to go my Alpha baby!

Too Close to Home

Before we decided on our current house, we were also thinking of another house on a lake. We took a family vote and we all chose our current house. Then we heard of a boating accident at the other lake in June, one person died and the driver of the boat had been drinking.

I had thought to myself, "I am so glad we didn't choose that lake". I admit it, I was being a snob and thought to myself that our current location, the residents would know better...not so. There was a boating accident Saturday night. We weren't here, but we heard about it from family and friends the next day.

Like the other boating accident, the driver of this boat had been drinking AND was speeding at 10:00 at night. He rounded the corner and slammed into the sea wall. Seven were on board and two fell out. One died the next day in the hospital.

How tragic for both families. We found out the driver of the boat lives across from us and now I stare at their house thinking how much suffering is going on in their house.

The family of the deceased of course are suffering a great loss. They have been on tv quite a lot. So heartbreaking to see the four young daughters and wife in such pain. The wife was also on the boat when this all occurred. Imagine seeing your loved one in the lake at night, how horrifying.

I do have sympathy for the owner of the boat, but mostly for his family, they now have to suffer the consequences of his actions. We have witnessed the kids out on the boat late many nights. As a parent, I would never allow this. Now the father has paid the ultimate price for his actions and now so has his family.

We all have to take accountability for our actions. We are role models for our children. They see and hear everything we do from how we act inside the house to out in public. Just watch and listen to little kids play, it's amazing how they pretend to be adults and say the exact things you just said. They hear things we don't think they hear, they see how much we drink or don't drink. We send them the messages that it's okay to do things even if we say they cannot.

I'm not saying I don't have faults, I certainly do, but I am aware of how I act and what I say in public, but most importantly, in my own home.

My prayers go out to both families for they are both suffering now.

Cookin up a Storm!

With a new house came a new focus on getting back on track with cooking meals. We got into a slew of take out dinners only because our kids' activities are right at dinner time. We are a family of routine and our routine family dinners were always at 6:00pm sharp. Then came the activities and right during dinner.

I have always loved to cook, but cooking the same old, same old really did get old. My family has their favorites, but I got tired of making them all the time. Now I can incorporate the tried and true with new recipes. My family is all for me cooking, they love it actually. I'm the only one going thru take out withdrawal.

I love to eat, but when I cook, I never try my cooking during the making process. I only try the new recipe when it comes down to sitting down and eating it. I've only had one or two bad recipes and I know to stay away from those. Now I'm in a whole new mode of trying new recipes. My kids have to eat whatever I make because I am not their personal cook(tho I really am).

New house, new cooking with gas, new atmosphere, maybe that is what inspired me. Ok, besides the fact that grocery stores and restaurants are a little further than what we were used to. But that's all ok, I'd take this new everything over the same old, same old anyday!

Are we 'normal'?

My husband and I have had many questions over the weekend regarding sending our daughter off to college. Of course, many questions regarding if we 'survived' letting her go. Our response, 'We didn't have a problem at all letting go and we didn't shed a tear'. People are shocked at our response, guess we aren't the 'normal' parents, especially since this is our first child going off to college.

I guess my husband and I look at letting go as a huge celebration, not of her not being home, but a celebration of her starting a new life on her own and we as parents adjusting to a child in college and only two children at home. We want to show our daughter we have faith in her that she can make it on her own. We are excited for her and look forward to hearing how things are going for her. It's an exciting time for all of us, a new chapter.

'Freedom' comes for both children and parents when it's time for college. We wish our daughter well with her new found freedom. Now we will have to see if we are 'normal' when it comes time for our youngest to go off to college, but um, that won't be for awhile!

No Tears or Fears

Many parents go thru this change in life when they take their sons or daughters to college. I wasn't sure what I was going to feel when this occurred in my life. Is the experience different when the child is your first born or your last child, I'm sure it is. I have two kids still at home, so no empty nest.

I think the anxiety for me is letting go of doing everything for my daughter. I think it will be worse for my daughter than for me tho. I wanted to be a stay at home mom, so doing everything for my kids is what I signed up for. But now I have let go of one child to let her be 'on her own'. No fear of her not being able to make it, she will get into the groove soon just like all freshmen do. But oh what a change for her.

Getting her room set up yesterday, we did a nice job and her roommate was already settled, but the size of the room....most of us have gone thru it and made it but now comes the time to share EVERYTHING. I have to admit, I loved college, but I do not envy the small living quarters. No privacy, no space, no personal bathroom. This is such a rite of passage tho isn't it?

Things sure have changed since I attended the same college my freshman year 24 years ago. Moving in day is so much more organized AND they had other students available to help you move in all your belongings along with providing big carts! That would have been so very helpful when I lived on the 3rd floor. The dorm I was in, no a/c, no wireless internet, no cable tv, no cell phones, we had to talk in the hallway on the two phones there. And now the dorms are coed!?! I sound like a very old person now.

The time came to say our goodbyes and most of you know, I am a very emotional person(so is my hubby)but we didn't shed one tear! I think my feelings were of excitement moreso than sadness. I want my daughter to enjoy her college experience and take it all in. This is a time for growth for my her, but we also grow as parents as we learn to let go of our children and see them as adults. I wish her well!

Busy Bee

Wow, can't believe I haven't posted in quite sometime! So much has happened and now, I have some breathing room. I have yet to get into a routine, but I'm getting there.

We love our new house, I have nothing to stress over, well maybe, but I can handle the stress so much better when I look at the view from my wonderful windows. I can even clean without stressing out because I continue to look at the view and take in a deep breath and continue on.

New house and kids started school, at least 2 out of 3 started, on the 12th, so really have been trying to get into a routine. Driving into 'town' and back has been new for me. I have over 190 miles on my car from one week of pick up and drop off for school and carpool. I don't think I have ever put 190 miles on my car even in a month, really. But again, I can't and don't complain. I knew this going into a new house and I'm ready. And I've had to get used to my son driving to and from school all on his own. He is not 16 yet, but he does have a school permit, so he can drive himself to and from school and any school activities. So far so good. Now we are counting down the days when he can drive everywhere by himself...only six more months!

I've had days of waiting for deliveries and appointments, 'between the hours of this and this'. But now it's starting to dwindle down, the house has come together nicely. I was actually able to maintain keeping the whole main floor clean while settling in and unpacking. That was my number one goal so I wouldn't get so overwhelmed. I sorted as I unpacked and repacked a lot of things to give away. I truly did keep only the things I was going to use.

Now we are left with hanging pictures, but I like to be simple and clean so not too many pictures are going to be put up. I'm not a decorator, but I do know what I like and it's things that are simple with clean lines. No more clutter, yahoo! That is my life goal, to live clutter free, so far I've gotten a great start. I've been blessed many times over and I don't take it for granted.

I've actually started cooking more too..partly because I don't want to drive to the grocery store too often and driving for take out food really is a longer drive now and by the time we get the food home, I could have made a meal already! Way back when, I used to plan out my weekly dinners so now I'm trying to go back to that method. It is harder now tho because my kids all have practices right at dinner time Monday thru Thursday. And I do love cooking with a gas stove now. I was scared at first, but now I love it. I hope my enthusiasm continues!(So does my hubby!)

I have been blessed, I have a great life!

So Many Blessings!

I love my life, with each and everyday, I am shown the many blessings of my life. Blessings of family, blessings of friendships, blessings of hope, blessings of dreams coming true, and blessings of God always watching over me.

Sunday's sermon reminded me of why I pray to God, not for material things, I have never prayed that way, but I pray for guidance. God hasn't failed me, even in the toughest of times. I pray for others to live the way God intended and to find the happiness they are searching for.

My blessings are truly overflowing, I'm forever grateful I can share in my blessings with my family and with others here and around the world.

Korean News Article (in hangul, of course)

‘엄마찾아 삼만리’ 美입양인 한슨 씨




"하루 속히 엄마를 찾아 '어엿하게 성장해 행복하게 살고 있으며 모든 것을 용서한다'는 마음을 전해주고 싶어요."
올해로 여섯번째 한국을 방문, '엄마 찾아 삼만리' 여행을 이어가고 있는 미국 입양인 킴 한슨(41.여) 홀트 인터내셔널(미국) 이사는 4일 연합뉴스와 인터뷰를 갖고 "친모를 찾게되면 맨 처음 하고 싶은 말"에 대해 "날 낳아준 것에(for giving me a life) 감사하다는 마음을 전하고 싶다"고 말했다.
이에 대해 "(버림 받은 것에 대한) '용서(forgiving)' 의미도 담겨있느냐"고 묻자 "엄마를 찾는 이유 중 하나는 이처럼 어엿하게 성장해 행복하며 모든 것을 용서한다는 말을 들려주고 싶어서"라고 말했다.
그는 지난 2일에도 미국 네브래스카주 오마하에 있는 웨스트 커스터머 매니지먼트 그룹 회장인 남편 존 한슨과 세 아이를 데리고 연합뉴스 한민족센터를 방문했었다.
그는 출생 후 5개월 만인 1967년 10월 23일 서울의 한 주택가에 버려졌다가 시립 미아보호소와 서울시 화성영아원 등을 거쳐 1971년 9월 국내의 한 입양기관에 의해 미네소타주의 한 가정에 입양됐으나 1년 만에 양부모의 사정으로 홀트 아동복지회를 통해 딸 하나를 둔 다른 가정(앤더슨家)에 재입양됐다.
한슨 이사는 1989년 네브래스카 주립대(휴먼ㆍ가족서비스 전공) 졸업 후 2006년 홀트 인터내셔널에 입사, 현재 이사로 재직 중이다. 남편과는 1990년에 결혼해 딸 에리카(18.예비대학생), 아들 테일러(15.고2) 외에 98년 한국서 입양한 막내 딸 코라(11.예비중학생) 등 "모두 우등생인" 2녀 1남을 두었다.
그는 오마하의 입양가족들을 위해 공항에 도착하는 아이들을 안내하는 영접인(greeter) 역할을 주로 맡고 있다. 수 년 전에는 자신이 직접 3명의 아이를 미국으로 데려가 양부모에게 인도해주기도 했다.
그는 2005년 한국 홀트의 창립 50주년 기념식 참석차 처음 방한한 이래 해마다 크리스마스 때면 한국을 찾아와 중증 장애인 수용시설인 홀트 일산복지타운에서 자원봉사를 하고 홀트 아동복지회의 위탁모를 위한 송년 파티 등을 열어주기도 한다.
아메리칸 인디언을 연상시키는 구릿빛의 강인한 모습의 그는 지난 날을 회상하며 내내 웃음을 지었지만 얼굴의 한 켠에 드리워진 지워지지 않는 그늘의 깊이까지 감추지는 못했다. 특히 친모를 찾을 수 있는 18세 이후 왜 바로 방한하지 않았느냐고 묻자 감정을 정리하려는 듯 한동안 말을 잇지 못했다.
"경제적인 이유가 컸어요. 여행 경비도 없이 무작정 올 수 없었지요"라고 말하는 그의 눈가에 이슬이 맺힌다. 18세 때 안경점에서 일하던 양부가 세상을 뜨게 되자 전화회사 마케팅부에서 일하던 양모(63.현재 퇴직)가 가정을 꾸려나가느라 어려움이 만만치 않았다고.
"이젠 어떠한 분노의 감정도 남아 있지 않아요. 평생을 죄의식 속에 살아가실지도 모르는 생모의 마음을 편하게 해드리기 위해서라도 엄마 찾기 여행을 멈출 수 없어요. 또 아이들에게 할머니를 비롯한 친척을 소개해 주고, 제가 어떻게 엄마와 헤어지게 됐는지 등에 대해 설명해 주고도 싶고요."
한슨 이사는 이 같은 열망에도 불구, 입양 직전 찍은 사진 외에 자신의 신원에 대한 자료가 거의 없는 데다 입양기관에 보관된 서류상의 이름, 생일 등 출생 또는 기아 등에 대한 기록도 부정확해 뿌리 찾기 작업이 사실상 한계에 봉착하게 되자 마지막 수단으로 언론사를 찾게 됐다고 말했다.
홀트아동복지회 입양가정지원센터의 설은희 사회복지사는 "화성영아원에서 받은 아동조사서의 생년월일(67.5.8)과 이름(김미성)이 사실과 부합하는지 알 수 없고 출생지도 '미상'으로 돼 있다"고 말했다.
그의 가족은 여섯번째 방한에서 이렇다 할 소득을 올리지 못한 채 4일 귀국행 비행기에 올랐다. 하지만 "이번 여행이 무언가 도움이 될 것으로 확신한다"는 큰 딸 에리카 양의 말처럼 그의 가족들은 희망의 끈을 놓지 않고 있다. 이들의 이 같은 확신은 70년대 중반 수많은 TV시청자의 눈물샘을 자극했던 추억의 애니메이션 '엄마 찾아 삼만리'(원작 에드몬도 데아미치스)를 연상시킨다.
어린 소년 마르코가 엄마를 찾겠다는 일념으로 아페니니 산맥(이탈리아)과 안데스 산맥을 넘어 맹수가 득실대는 아르헨티나의 팜파(대평원)를 종단, 끝내 엄마와의 재회에 성공한 것처럼 생모에 대한 사무치는 그리움 병을 앓아 온 한슨 이사도 친모 상봉의 꿈이 이뤄질 때까지 오마하와 서울 간 왕래 여행이 계속될 전망이다. 출생 이후 입양되기까지 4년 반 남짓의 잃어버린 시간을 찾아서.
문의 ☎ 서울 홀트아동복지회'(02-322-8104,8302)

My Journey Continues...

I have met a lot of people in my 42 years of life and each one has a very special place in my heart, no matter if I have known them for a lifetime, or if I have briefly talked to them.

Two years ago, I think, I met a friend of a friend and invited her to my table at our Omaha Holt auction. This friend offered to help me in anyway to help with my birth search(she is Korean). So I have not spoken with her for almost two years and lo and behold, I received an email from her last night and she sends me the news article from when I was in Korea in July. Amazing she would read an article about me online on the Korean news and I hadn't told her I did an interview.

Mind you, I couldn't read the article since it is written in hangul, but it also included the picture of me from that day. My heart about stopped, reality of it hit and I was so excited to see it, even if it was in hangul, which I think is so pretty in print.

I tried online translators, but it just doesn't translate the same, it's quite funny reading it. So now I wait for my connections to read their emails and translate it for me. I want to post the article on here, but I need to get permission from the reporter first, so hang in there with me on this roller coaster journey of mine!

Catching up with reality

Does one ever catch up? I think so, but being gone for two weeks takes a little longer to get back on track. There is so much going on in my mind; great memories of the trip; arranging schedules again; preparing to move, not my favorite thing to do, but the new house will be so worth it!

I didn't have much time to blog while in Korea. Mostly because of the hectic and full schedules and other times due to the lack of internet in the rooms. Being in a different hotel three days in a row didn't help either.

Overall, I loved the trip, it was an amazing journey. I was very proud to have shared it with my family and share it with great friends. My youngest daughter surprised me on one special occasion. We visited an unwed mother's shelter. I've done this in the past and shed many, many tears. I wasn't sure how my daughter would handle this situation, but she surprised me. After the Q&A, we were able to hug the mothers, as they were also crying throughout the meeting. To my surprise, my daughter was front and center to hug the mothers. More tears were shed as the mothers hugged her. We went to the bus and were told some of the mothers wanted to say goodbye one more time so my daughter and I got off the bus to say our goodbyes one more time. One mother, she was to deliver the very next day, so when she hugged my daughter, she was sobbing. How heartbreaking to see this as a parent. I cried with the mothers as I hugged them goodbye.

Driving away, the mothers were still crying as was I. Such a draining time, for as an adoptee myself, I cry for my own birth mother for her loss and I cry for my daughter's birth mother. Someday, I hope to meet my birth mother to let her know I love her for giving me life and I hope someday my daughter will meet her birth mother to give her a sense of peace. For without peace, I am not sure one can truly live life to the fullest.

So many other amazing stories on this trip of adoptees meeting their foster parents and some meeting their birth families. I am so pleased to know that this can occur for adoptees and birth families. All of these stories are very personal and it is up to the individual to share their stories if they so choose, as this is our story, our journey, our lives. My wish, however, is that adoptees will share their stories as you never know who it will touch. We all have important messages to tell. As always, I ask my daughter for permission to tell her story and what we found out on our trip.

Back to reality, yes and no. My mind is still foggy and my heart is still in Korea.

Exhausted and Exhilirated

I never seem to feel rested when I am in Korea. Guess that is due to such a busy and packed schedule. One time, I will need to come to Korea to do absolutely nothing. But then again, I love interacting with everyone that is in the group. I have made some life long friends from my trips here and cherish every memory I have from my trips.

Today was the day the adoptees became honorary citizens of Korea from the Mapogu District. I went thru this ceremony in the summer of 2006. It was wonderful to see my youngest daughter get up on stage and receive this honor. She was very cute, as usual. Taking pictures of all the adoptees at one time was like being in front of the paparazzi. Our tour group shared the ceremony with a tour group from Denmark. It still amazes me to hear the thick accent coming from a Korean adoptee.

Prior to the ceremony, we stopped to tour the World Cup Soccer Stadium. I think Taylor, Erika and Skip enjoyed this little stop. It is pretty awesome to see in person. I had seen it on my very first trip in 2005 and I even took the subway all by myself!

Our tour after lunch was a visit to Ilsan. It was pouring rain so it wasn't looking too nice for the tour, but our's would be cut short anyway, as my family had to leave 30 minutes after our arrival to go to the interview. We did manage a family picture at Harry and Bertha Holt's graves though, that was my one request on our short visit there and also to shop at the gift shop. Which I did manage to buy a very pretty vase from there! I haven't done much shopping here since we've been here! I did manage a half hour of shopping though before dinner and found my Korean gong I wanted, I was so thrilled to have found it at my vendor's!! I'm still giddy over it!

Back to the interview. Guess it wasn't a tv interview, but more of a press interview for an ad in the newspaper for my birth family search. No preparation on my part, I just agreed to do one since one was set up for me. I answered questions asked by the reporter as he video taped it. Holt had given them my adoption information already. My family and I answered questions regarding our feelings traveling to Korea and how my family felt about me doing my birth search. Amazingly, I was very calm throughout the entire interview.

The only thing that kind of threw me for a loop was when he asked if I would like to give a video message to my birth mother. Yikes, I wasn't prepared to do that, but I did. I looked into the camera and said, "To my birth mother, if there is a chance to meet you in person, I would love the chance to do so. I wanted to be able to thank you in person for giving me life, for without my life, I would not have my family you see behind me. I do not have any anger or resentment towards you for the circumstances surrounding my birth. The decision you made to do what you did, I can understand and I am grateful for the life and opportunity I had in the United States. I would like to have a relationship with you and also with any other family members. I would like my family and children to be able to have the opportunity to have you in their lives as well. I will continue to travel to Korea and I hope someday, I will be able to meet you on one of those travels."

What will become of this ad, I don't know and I don't have any expectations. I just know this was the only method for me at this point in my search. I feel calm and at peace with how my journey is going. There is no script for life no matter how you came to be and there is no script for how one is to feel during certain life moments. All I know is that life is too short and I do truly try to live each moment as it comes and not worry about the little things in life. Whatever comes my way, I know I can handle it.

Busy doesn't even cover it!

Anyone reading my blog can probably tell I have been way too busy to blog about my trip. It's a jam packed schedule! I'm so far behind on blogging, everything is blending together and I can't seem to remember the order of events. Oh well, I will try my best...

I left off with Kora being sick. Luckily, getting a good night's sleep in the hotel room with a/c helped tremendously! I think it was just motion sickness, the six hour bus ride and walking and the humidity and then the car ride didn't help at all. Thank goodness it was just motion sickness and not what the others have had on this trip.

After our hotel stay, we were off to yet another city, Pusan. Along the way, we visited the temples. Very cool walking up the mountain and looking at the beautiful scenery. You do come out of it feeling more at peace. Once we arrived in Pusan, we were able to walk on the beach. I stayed clean and dry and took pictures of the kids running into the ocean. It's always great being able to see my kids go into the ocean where we are near water, but this time around, how cool was it that they were doing it in S. Korea!

Dinner was great sharing wonderful stories with great friends and new friends. We do laugh a lot in our group, which I love. This trip is so filled with emotions, you have to laugh in order to make it thru. With our group being so big, we are split into two buses so we are having a good time with giving bus #1 a hard time about being the #1 bus when we feel we our bus is #1. Anyway, guess you have to be here to know what it's like. It is a lot of fun.

After dinner, we strolled on the boardwalk with all the kids. We make quite the group when you count in all the kids, we had at least 15 walking with us. It was a very nice walk, but then it was off to bed for us as we had a very early morning the next day ahead of us.

Our second day in Pusan, Skip and I had decided to travel with Kora by ourselves to her birth city. We left at 8am for the 4 hour van ride to Gwangju, pronounced, Kwangju. Taylor and Erika stayed behind with the group to tour the huge fish market. We had a volunteer interpreter with us which is greatly appreciated by all of us on this trip when there is a language barrier. Our interpreter was very nice and spoke English very well. He was very talkative and interested in the United States. We invited him to come visit us and stay with us, hope he is able to do that someday.

We were late for our appointment due to the bad rush hour traffic just getting out of Pusan, but finally arrived at this building in Gwangju. Our driver and translator were not sure where exactly the building was, then Skip and I saw two little Korean ladies with umbrellas waving us into the parking lot. We were at the hospital where Kora was born. One lady was the social worker that helped our Kora's birth mother and the other lady works at the Holt branch office in Gwangju.

We were shown into the office of the current Chief doctor, though he wasn't the Chief doctor at the time Kora was born. So, onto the questions. Skip and I hoped we were ready, but we think we did well for the amount of information we were able to obtain at this time in Kora's life. It's amazing to me the little tid bits of information we take for granted about being born, but with having two birth children, I did know what to ask because we talk about it around the dinner table.

New information we found out, which I find so amazing:
~Kora was born at 10:33am. Now I know all three of my kids were AM babies!
~Kora was named by the social worker that was there with us. She was very proud of that and chose her name because it was a very popular name and named Kora that so she would feel like so many others out there and not feel alone.
~Kora was placed in a foster family 5 hours after being born. Then was placed with a foster family in Seoul July 9th.

We all went out to eat with the ladies then went to our next visit, the unwed mother's shelter that Kora's mother had stayed in. The new information we found out:
~Gwangju is Kora's mother's hometown.
~Kora's mother came into the shelter two months prior to giving birth.
~We met the Director of the shelter and she was the Director when Kora's mother was there and she told us Kora looks like her mother.
~Kora's mother had a normal pregnancy and remained healthy.
~Kora's mother stayed in the shelter for one month after giving birth to Kora.

I am so happy to have this information. It is like finding missing puzzle pieces and being able to complete a little portion of the puzzle. And it amazes me that I am just so thrilled at even the littlest bit of information that may seem so mundane to others. I guess I look at my own past and see that there is no information for me and so I am happy to have this information for Kora. When Kora turns 18 and she wishes to continue with her birth search, she can do it and have this information with her. As her parents, we cannot read her file without Kora's permission when she is 18. I would never read her file anyway regardless of the rules as this is her life and her story and she has the right to do what she wants and when she wants. I wish her well and I do pray that someday, Kora will search for her birth family and that the meeting will be successful for both sides.

After we felt we asked all the questions we could, I asked if any of the mothers that were currently staying there would like to meet me as an adult adoptee and Kora as a younger adoptee. This was not planned so I wasn't sure if any mothers would agree to come see us. Surprisingly, five mothers did come in. Since it was so last minute, they couldn't think of any questions to ask us so I told them that the most popular question I am always asked as an adoptee is if I am and was happy growing up where I did. Of course I was and still am. I also told them that at my age now, I still think about my birth mother and I will be doing my own search to be able to thank my mother for giving me the gift of life and to allow her a sense of peace for the choice she made.

I thought all and all, the meeting went well and the Director gave Kora some gifts that some of the mothers had made while staying there. Kora loved the gifts even though she didn't say much during the visit. I don't blame her, I'm not sure I would fully understand the magnitude of the visit. I know she will appreciate more when she is older.

It was time for us to leave and both ladies gave Kora a hug and Kora then gave the Director of the shelter a hug. Then the social worker hugged Kora again and kept hugging her and began to cry. Of course I got tears in my eyes seeing this exchange. I could feel the love the social worker had for Kora and how it must have felt to see her at age 11 after seeing her only as a newborn. We have some amazing people working for our children that still need a family of their own.

So the total time we were in Gwangju was 2 hours and 15 minutes. So the drive back should get us to Pusan around 6pm...or so we thought. Traffic jam due to a car accident, then we faced the rush hour traffic entering Pusan and it took us 5 1/2 hours to get back to our hotel. Yikes! Thank goodness Kora had a seat to herself in the van so she didn't get carsick this time, she was able to lay down the entire time.

What an emotionally draining day for such a short visit. The long travel was so worth it for me and so happy we made the decision to go. I feel blessed to have all this tid bit of information on Kora. And my story continues also. I found out today I will be doing a tv interview tomorrow for my birth search. Nothing like doing things on a whim! So, that will be my next blog, but I think I need to also catch up on the days I missed along the way. Until then, good night with blessings, hugs, and prayers to all.

Roller Coaster Day in Korea

I am way behind in blogging, but no internet last night at hte hotel, even tho it was a very nice hotel. So will try and catch up at least a little...

Two days ago...
Packing for a 4 night trip and trying to separate from what you think you will need to what you think you won’t need, not easy. Then try to remember all the donations for along the way. Onto the bus and buckle down for a four hour trip to Jeonju. The people on our bus though, we are dropping like flys with people getting sick. Not sure exactly what it is going around, but it usually lasts around one day, but it’s not the pretty stuff going around.
The rest stops in Korea are more like strip malls. The snacks are pretty amazing there, some hot, some cold, this and that, and then some. Very cool. We began watching a movie, “The Little Bride”. Took me a while to catch on that the little girl, who was playing a 15yr old, was named Boeun. That is Kora’s Korean name. How ironic on such a trip! I think Taylor and I were the only ones watching the movie, it’s quite different watching a Korean movie and having to read subtitles. But then we arrived at our destination before we could watch the ending.
Our first stop was the Jeonju orphanage. I’ve been there plenty of times on my previous trips but it never gets old hearing the excitement of the children’s voices even before we reach the front door and it’s not even Christmas time. Imagine the excitement to have people come and give attention just to you for a short time. Really, the feeling is amazing for us visitors.
Those that have traveled to this orphanage with me, you know how special the performances are and how adorable the kids are. This time didn’t disappoint either. It’s amazing to see the joy in performing for us but it’s such a gift to us to see them. It touched my heart to hear one of the girls say to a staff member that she remembered me.
Kora was then able to give the Director the gifts that she had received from her friends for her birthday party that were donated just for this trip. The Director said to Kora how blessed she was to have such giving hearts. So for any parents of Kora’s friends, or even Kora’s friends, that are reading this blog, thank you for your generous hearts. You have no idea the joy that you gave to these children that are in such difficult circumstances with their current families. I always appreciate all of the giving hearts when I make my trips here.
I was fine with my emotions this time visiting until I watched adoptees and parents holding the babies. It tugs at my heart that these children are in the situation they are in and that their parents are struggling with life. I see myself in the eyes of these children every time I’m here because I was a child of these difficult circumstances. I always pray that these children will soon be reunited with their families or be able to be adopted domestically into a loving family. These children and their families didn’t ask for this difficulty in their lives, but I do know God will watch over all of them.
As always, the time spent with the kids is cut too short. It’s a struggle to get everyone to let go of the babies or toddlers they are holding. I literally have to pull off some of the kids that are hanging onto people. It’s tough letting go on both sides.
After lunch, we were on our way to Daejon for our homestays with Korean families. Each family and adoptee on this tour were assigned a family to stay with for an overnight to experience traditional Korean life. Since we have five people in our family, we had to be split up. I was with Kora and Taylor and Skip and Erika were together. After the introductions of tour participants and host families, everyone went their own way for the night.
Our host mother, she came up to me and gave me a huge hug and gave Kora a huge hug along with Taylor. Our host mother spoke English, so was able to communicate with her well. When we arrived at her house and we all got out of the car, Kora was not looking well and she started to cry. I couldn’t believe she was not feeling well and we had just gotten to our homestay! I told her to suck it up since we had just gotten there. Not a good start…
We met our host father and 11yr old son, which neither one spoke or understood English. The 11yr old was playing video games on the computer so the dad handed Taylor a Nintendo DS, but Taylor couldn’t figure out how to play since it was in Korean. So we all sat around almost in silence. No one asked us any questions. Our host mother had said we were going out to dinner for a traditional Korean style meal. We first had to pick up their 15yr old son from Academy, where he was studying for his exams. He had been there all day and it was Saturday.
Taylor did his best to engage in conversation. It’s quite the learning experience when there is a language barrier but Taylor did well with the 15 yr old’s limited English. We arrived at the restaurant and enjoyed the meal. Taylor was really into the meat portion as usual. Kora at a little since she hadn’t really eaten much at lunch but I told her she had to eat something. The host family’s friends had arrived and sat down for the meal, but none of them asked us any questions. We just ate the meat the mother was giving us. I looked at the clock and it was only 7:30pm but I was exhausted already and could have fallen asleep right there. I think Kora and Taylor felt the same way.
On our way home, we had to drop off the 15yr old back at Academy for him to study some more. The Korean education is very hard and Academy is another way of gearing up for final exams though this is an extra cost to the family. During Academy, kids can study up to six hours a day just for exams. I kept telling Taylor he had it very easy back home.
When we arrived back to the host family’s house, Taylor, Kora and I were gearing up to go to bed even though it was only 8:30. Kora and I would be sharing one room and Taylor in another room by himself. As Kora and I got into bed, both of us were too hot to sleep. There was no air conditioning in the room. Kora was using her little portable fan but the air in the room was very stifling. This time of year in Korea is monsoon season, so the humidity is at a ridiculous level. I felt bad for Kora, she hadn’t been feeling well from the time we arrived and now she had to suffer not feeling well in a hot room. I didn’t want her to have to suffer, let alone me getting a tremendous migraine from the heat so I was going to have to tell our host family that we needed to go to the hotel so I could take care of Kora.
So, I go to tell our host mother, but she isn’t home, no one is but me and the kids. What do I do? How do I communicate with anyone in Korea? So in desperation, I turned on my blackberry. I didn’t care how much it would cost me, but if only I could get a hold of Skip on his blackberry. So as I turned on my phone, I began receiving many messages from not having it turned on continuously. I sent an email to Skip hoping he would check his email, that is, if my blackberry would even work in Korea because we hadn’t done anything to it for international travel before we left home thinking mine had no capabilities in Korea as we learned from my previous trips.
By a miracle, I received Skip’s automatic out of office email from work…I was so excited that my blackberry worked! So I sent Skip an instant blackberry message praying maybe that would work too, but that wasn’t looking good so far as there was the unreachable symbol on his bb messenger. I continued to check my email to see if Skip would happen to respond back…it seemed like an eternity but by a miracle, the bb messenger worked and Skip had actually checked his blackberry…we were connected!!!
I told him the situation with Kora. He immediately said I needed to get to the hotel with her, but how the heck was I going to do anything with no one home at our homestay?! So Skip was frantic in working out something via his host family as all the host families were given the contact number of Mr. Hwang, a Holt Korea staff member in charge on our trip. I told Skip he needed to have his host family call him for me since no one was home here. Skip’s host family helped him on his end to call Mr. Hwang and arranged for a hotel room and I guess now, for all of us, Skip and Erika were going to the hotel too to help me out with Kora.
It seemed like hours before I heard someone come home at our homestay. It was the father and his 11yr old son. I started talking to him explaining about Kora, but he didn’t understand me. He called his wife and I explained to her the situation with Kora and how I needed to get her to the hotel so I could take care of her rather than having her be sick at their house. I had to wake up Taylor and tell him to get ready to leave. He was so out of it and was sprawled out on his bed with just his boxers on. I told him it was 9:45 and he asked me if it was morning…I’d say he was out of it!
Our host mom got home very fast. I told her the situation with Kora and needing to get to the hotel. I told her we could take a taxi but she insisted on driving us there. On the way, she told me she was sorry that she was out but was shopping for a gift she forgot to get for me. Along the way, I bb'd Skip to let him know we were on our way, he and Erika had already headed out too.

When we arrived at the hotel before Skip and Erika. It was nice to be able to be in one room with Kora rather than in someone's house I didn't know. Skip and Erika arrived soon after and we all settled in for the night.

At breakfast, we heard someone else was sick too. Something has been going around and it hasn't been fun! Luckily, whatever is going around usually lasts only a day. Onto the day's adventure...which I will have to type tomorrow since I have to go to bed right now, I am tired!

Maturity Switch?

Skip and I love to live life to the fullest and we don't always take things too seriously, but we do know when we need to turn on the 'maturity switch' when circumstances call for it. But, you combine us with Jeff, Amy, Debbie, and Brian...sometimes that maturity switch doesn't get flipped on. We all love being together and we laugh a lot together.

The other night, we were hosted by the Mayor of Jungjo District for a palace tour and then to dinner. The entire time was filmed on camera and pictures were taken left and right of all of us and the Mayor. It truly did feel like they were papparazzi. Even while we were in the shopping areas, the cameras were there right in our faces. We couldn't take a step without a video camera or camera in our faces. Now if we could just get our hands on a newspaper around here! The footage was also going to be on the local news, which one translator told Erika, local means the entire country.

Dinner came and the formailities were taken care of, even I was asked to make the toast at the very last minute, which of course, that is one instance where I can turn on the maturity switch and become formal.

We were hosted to a very formal traditional Korean meal. Seemed tho the food kept coming and coming, think someone counted about 19 dishes. So, the maturity switch, kinda got lost at our table, even tho we were sitting with the Mayor. Leave it to us to do that! But we can't take all the blame, the Mayor did contribute to our behavior. He would feed Beth next to me and it is customary to eat whatever is given to you by someone. Poor Beth, I was just glad I wasn't sitting next to him. I wasn't hungry and if I was being fed, I am not sure what I would have done.

Skip was brave, he did try every dish that was placed in front of us. And when I was in the restroom, the Mayor had grabbed a piece of sushi, added the wasabi and fed it to Skip. Now that caused some laughter. Then there were these sesame rice things that looked like black popsicle sticks. The Mayor fed one to Jeff and continued to say, "Man Power! It will give you vitality". Mind you, these were somewhat interesting to eat, as I was told, and it was funny watching people eat them. Then Jeff adds to our laughter and eats another one and the Mayor gives the thumbs up sign to him. Needless to say, our table was laughing thro/out the entire dinner. But the laughter was what we call, church laughter, where you laugh silently and your shoulders are bobbing up and down because you are trying desperately to contain yourself. We were laughing so hard tho that we were in tears. I can't wait until Amy catches up on her blog as she was writing everything down as the night went on.

We asked Brian and Debbie to come to our table towards the end of the meal and we then gestered to the Mayor and said, "Man Power" and pointed to Brian. Sure enough, the Mayor got up and gave one to Brian and then another Brian in our group. So it wasn't all that bad that we didn't have our maturity switch on the entire dinner, the Mayor was laughing also. Good sport. It was a memorable dinner and it's always great sharing good times with good friends.

New Information?

Maybe there is new information out there for me about my past...today, Skip and I went to see the hospital I was placed in after I was found. Quite the van ride, as those that have traveled to Korea with me, you know what the driving is like here and the traffic. Needless to say, we were very glad that Skip and I decided to make this journey with just the two of us because we would have had some complaining and maybe sick kids. The kids went on the tour with the rest of the group that was sight seeing. We would meet them at lunch once we were finished.

After much traffic, we finally arrived at the hospital, or at least the hospital that is now currently there. The original hospital had been torn down. Our translator told us that the person at the hospital said our appointment was scheduled for yesterday. Anyway, we were able to get the gist of it and then was able to look at an old photo album of pictures from the original hospital, the City Baby Hospital. I took a couple of pictures of interesting ones but it takes too long to post on here so will have to post pictures when I get home. No pictures of me though, but then again, there was a group shot that I could be in, but we will never know as it was shot around the time I would have been at the hospital.

Then it was off to show Skip the orphanage I was in for 3 1/2 years of my life. I had visited there back in 2006 so wanted to show Skip. After much driving in circles, we finally found it. I'm very glad I had Skip with me this time, he's very good at asking questions, as when I was there in 2006, I wasn't able to comprehend that I was at the orphanage so really didn't ask too many questions about my paper. I was finally able to clarify and translate more of what was written on my admittance paper. There had been several dates stamped on the one piece of paper and it was nice to finally figure out what each date meant.

Then one number written in the middle, which looked like a case number, the social worker and director said this could lead to more information. The case number came from the children's welfare corporation, which is still in operation today. So the social worker made a call and they will be looking to see if there is any information regarding this case number on my paper. Who knows what will come of this, but it was great to be able to get just a morsal more of information even if it doesn't lead to anything else. The puzzle pieces keep coming together and the the picture is becoming clearer.

We didn't get to see the kids in the orphanage, they were in school, but we did see the babies sleeping and the 3-4 yr olds eating lunch. So off to lunch ourselves...well, with such bad traffic, by the time we met our group, they were done eating. No biggie, I wasn't hungry and neither was Skip so we walked around, thinking we would shop but came up with a slushy and mini Dunkin Donuts. Great lunch! And what did we do for dinner? Outback Steakhouse...it was yummy! I love Korean food, but I have plenty of days for eating Korean food.

Now we are packed to travel further south. It's really hard to pack clothes just for 4 days and pack the rest up to leave at this hotel. A family of five is not easily packed into carry on sized suitcases, but you know the Hansons, we did it! We are bringing donations also for an orphanage and the unwed mother's shelter that Kora's birth mother stayed at before giving birth to Kora. Our little way of giving back for helping her mother while she was in need at such a critical and lonely time in life. We pray for her everyday and hope she knows we think of her often and thank her for giving us our precious and lovely Kora.

Time

When I am on a tour like this, time gets away from me. But then again, our schedule is busy and most of our time is spent on the busses and touring Seoul. I was in a group last night and it was crazy to think we had only been here two days...wow, seems like we've been here longer.

Yesterday was file reading day. I've read my files, but the Holt office set up another reading for me. Nothing new from last time, just clarified the translations of the description of me as a child from the orphanage: Selfish, healthy, cheerful, and often crying...weird combinations. With no new information, I will be placing an add in the Korean newspaper with my picture and my circumstances of where I was as a baby and the orphanage I was in for 3 1/2 years. We will see if anything comes of this method. The other method of a search is going on tv. I may have to make another trip just to do that.

I don't have any expectations, however of finding any birth family members. It's like finding a needle in a haystack. But if I don't try, there would be that sense of, 'what if' and I don't live like that. I am doing this search to give peace to my birth family, because being a mother myself, I would always be wondering too. God will be by my side guiding me thru all of this, as he has led me thru everything else in my life and he will give peace to my birth family somehow even if I never connect with them. I will always pray for them.

We also had the opportunity to meet Kora's foster mother. I had met her in my previous travels so she recognized me immediately. To my surprise, Kora's foster father also came along. What a sweet and caring man. He was so happy to see Kora in person. I had left pictures from my previous trip so they could see pictures of Kora growing up and our entire family. The foster mother was carrying a baby boy, six months old, yes, another foster child. This foster family has been fostering children for 16 years. What wonderful and loving people to do this type of work to open their hearts and homes to give love and care to children during the hardest months of a baby's life.

It was fun being able to talk to them, thru a translator of course. The translator was a very young Korean lady, she was very soft spoken. Kora's foster parents gave her gifts and we gave them more pictures of Kora along with some candies. It was so sweet hearing them talk about how happy and smiley Kora appeared and told us how happy they were knowing Kora was in a happy, good family. They talked about how Kora was a very happy baby when they took care of her. What a blessing to us for these foster parents that loved our Kora so much during her first four months of her life. Skip and I are forever grateful to them and we hope to keep in touch with them to keep them updated on Kora.

I can't imagine being in their shoes, taking care of babies, giving love to them and then having to let them go. I asked them how that was for them. They said it breaks their heart each time, but are also happy to know the babies are going to a family. Amazing people to me. Holt Korea has 400 foster families. It's incredible to see all the foster parents bringing in their children to the Holt office for check ups and such. Each baby I see, they are so happy. God is good, when we have people like our foster families.

I will continue later, guess I have to get ready for the day...love to everyone!

Additional info

I know I am tired when I forget details, but then again, I am not good with jet lag either. It's also hard for me to not be able to blog in the middle of the night when I can't sleep with other people in the same room sleeping. I had a tough time sleeping last night and would have liked to have blogged but oh well..

I forgot that after the health screening check, we waited in line forever for immigration. Of course, we chose one line thinking that would be the fastest line then ended up switching lines and yeah, you guessed it, it wasn't a good line. Other families in our tour were ahead of us and they went up as a family rather than individually so figured we could do the same thing. We all go up to the immigration officer, Skip handed out all the passports and the one male immigration officer looked at me and shooed me to the line. As in, back to the line. I told him I was with my family but he shooed me again gesturing I should go back to the beginning of the line and wait my turn. Hmmmm, guess I really blended in and he thought I wasn't a part of the family, but why me? Why not Skip? He's the one that is the minority of our family AND a minority in Korea! Weird.

Of course, I get Koreans speaking to me in Korean. I just look at them with a big smile and say, English.

Now onto to my day...

Arrival into Korea and First Day

We made it to Korea and as usual, it was a long flight and a long day, but that is always a given. Trying to sleep on the plane, well that's a given too that I don't sleep well. Time passes quicker when you can watch movies tho.

It was fun watching Kora be so excited about being on such a cool plane and be able to watch movies and play video games! Besides the fact she got to sit with her best friend from Oregon, Emma. They are truly two peas in a pod and can pick up where they left off from when they last saw one another. Such a great thing to be able to have friends so far away, yet be the best of friends when together.

We arrived at the Seoul airport and something new, we had to go thru a health screening after deplaning. Had to fill out yet another form for that to see if you had a cough, sore throat, watery eyes and all that. But as I was in the plane, a lot of people began coughing and had runny noses and watery eyes just from being on the plane over 10 hours! Ironic..

When we arrived to our hotel, luckily we were able to settle in quickly and go to bed, it didn't take much for all of us to fall alsleep. I did well and only woke up once in the middle of the night and then up at 7:00.

Our day was touring the Korean Folk Village. I tend to people watch more than do the tour thing. I like to watch people experience Korea for the first time. Kora, Taylor, and Erika's first trip to Korea, but not sure it has really sunk in that they are in Korea. Ok, maybe for Erika it has.

It's been fun watching Kora become great friends with the other girls her age. They have a blast on the bus together and around the places we go. I think I am making Kora angry by telling her she doesn't need to buy something until we go to my vendor at the Hotel. She thinks I'm nuts but it will be worth it.

Not much else today, thank goodness as people are tired the first day. Tomorrow we will be at the Holt office and will feel more like we are in Korea...I think. So will try and write tomorrow.

There is nothing like starting off a trip with only just 3 hours of sleep. But then again, we had a great reason for being up later than anticipated. We sold our house! Woohoo!!

But 3:00am comes all too quickly. Packing the car with 10 suitcases and 5 people, yeah, figure that one out, but my hubby did and there was a smidgen of room for my youngest to buckle in.

Then it's unload time and to the ticket counter. Those that know me know I travel quite a lot so I do know my way around the ticket counter. But apparently, the ticket agents don't see that. The one 'helping' me with the self check in kiosk...first of all, it is a self serve checking, why do ticket agents have to help? They are just agents not behind the counter.

So as I am using the self check in, I asked my 'helper' if she wanted to use my passport instead and she said I just needed to use the bar code off of my boarding pass. So onto checking in the luggage...the total checked was 8, so up comes the total I need to pay...not good, as I know we aren't charged for two bags flying internationally.

I let the ticket agent, behind the counter, know that we are traveling internationally and she continues to say she needs to see that boarding pass, which, duh we don't have until we get to Seattle. So she continues to say that I need to show proof that I actually paid for this entire international flight and I therefore retrieve my printed out itinerary.

She looks at it and looks at me and tells me she can't read it...what? It's a computer print out, not my hand writing! She continues, very rudely I must say, to tell me she can't find the ticket number. I am juggling 4 passports and 10 boarding passes and she is being short with me...thank goodness I was calm as can be.

Skip comes along, he dropped the kids and I and the luggage at the curb then parked. I asked Skip for his passport and once again, the ticket agent says she can't read the printed out itinerary. Skip gave me a 'look'. He tells her it's sabre and she says, "Well we use apollo". The look again from Skip.

We did finally get checked in with all 8 in bags...I am very good at packing, once again, my luggage weighed 49lbs. on the dot!

I am just grateful I was the one that was at the ticket counter before Skip, he would not have been a happy camper and would not have been a good way to start off our trip. Can you imagine...we have an hour flight to Denver, 3 hour flight to Seattle, and then an 11 1/2 hr flight to Korea. Nope, would not have turned out pretty.

I am just glad I am calm as can be. I'm ready...

Crazy Day!

Could my day be any crazier yesterday? Um, yeah! Besides the continuous flow of kids swimming and laundry and carpool and trying to keep the house clean, I decided to shop for furniture! Only because my favorite furniture store is going out of business and their sale started yesterday...what a zoo!! I was there almost two hours because it was wall to wall people and grabbing a sales person was nearly impossible! Thank goodness I had my sister with me, she was a tremendous help and we secured some furniture!

Then the For Sale sign went in the yard and as I was cooking my daughter's birthday dinner, not even 10 minutes later, we had a showing request...ahhhh!! I kicked out all three of my kids' friends, yeah, nothing like a house full of kids! Once again, thank goodness for my sister! I called her over to stage my house as we ate dinner, couldn't disappoint my daughter could I?

The showing went well, they want to see it again!!! Then back to reality, I HAD to start packing for Korea, my closet was a complete disaster, not good for selling a house! So, I got two suitcases packed with donations and packed my suitcase. Thanks to my families that have given me donations to take to Korea, you guys are amazing! The closet looks so much better and I do feel better and not so overwhelmed, still overwhelmed, but not as much....breathe.....

My daughter had a nice birthday celebration within the midst of it all so it's all good. Thank goodness all the kids are 100% behind moving to a new house! Phew! Now on with today...3 days till Korea...

Really Moving

Like I needed more to do before Korea, but that's just the way it is around here. Life changes and we go with the flow around here and live life to the fullest. So our big news is we are moving and selling our current house! Our whole family is excited and can't wait to create another home in a place we all fell in love with!

With the help of my sister, we got our house staged, cleaned up, spruced up, de-cluttered and ready to sell in one week! The official sign goes in the yard tomorrow. Wow! Seems like a whirlwind, but we really did our homework with this because we swore we would never move again. Anyone that has ever moved, unless you are not normal, you know how horrendous of a job it is to move! And to try and keep a house clean with five people in it, wish me luck! But we are all thrilled and we can do it!

Now I can fully enjoy my trip to Korea, come back and gear up to create another loving home. Yahoo! I've been so blessed..

Whoa..two weeks??

Yikes! Looking at my countdown calendar to Korea says 14 days...whoa!! Can't believe how fast it is approaching now. I think I am ready with my clothes, it's the kids that I have to prepare. Shouldn't be that hard, right? It's like any other trip, right? Cha, right! We are talking international and for two weeks! That takes a lot of planning!

Okay, take a deep cleansing breath as my Sistah Amy would tell me...think we have been taking that cleansing breath around here with so many changes. We are now in the midst of a major deep cleaning of our house...okay, I haven't quite started, but everyone else has! The kids' rooms look amazing and can't believe they are the same rooms. The garage looks amazing and so darn big. My hubby worked very hard at cleaning out everything and was putting things out at the end of the driveway with our 'U haul it, it's free' sign and people were coming out left and right taking it all...thank goodness! I teased him that I wasn't going to step foot out in the garage for fear he would put me out by the sign! We did sell a few items for actual money too, bonus! That is the way we clean around here, sort, throw, and give away.

I know, I'm stalling at cleaning up my stuff...ten minutes at a time for me, really I did at least ten minutes yesterday. It's all good really, as there will be a major change coming soon...

Amazed at how fast life goes by...

To this beautiful young lady...

Amazing...

Stalling and overwhelmed!

There is only so much I can do per day to prepare for graduation open house. We all still need to be able to 'live' in our house and function like a normal family, right? Ahhhhh! Then trying to plan for guests coming to the actual open house, how many do I plan for, how many will actually show up? I have food ordered, desserts ordered, plates, napkins, forks all set out..tables bought and borrowed, pool is finally crystal clear and ready for swimmers, going to be a hot one for Saturday.

My rule of thumb is to work on something for 10 minutes at a time so as not to get too overwhelmed...I'm still overwhelmed. I am slowly but surely, clearing off every counter in my kitchen, I'm liking the bare look, but it never stays that way with a family of five.

During all the planning, I've been helping my sister and her family find a house here and finally found one!! Yahoo! I still find myself looking at For Sale signs when driving around! And of course, by default, I found my dream home, but that will have to wait for a very long time...*sigh*

Okay, I need to focus...I need to go to the grocery store before my house fills with a bunch of 18 year olds...yeah, this isn't even the graduation party but our house was chosen to watch a soccer match...okay...then Friday our house was chosen to have 15 year olds swim after school gets out for the year...

Ummmm...will my house stay clean for Saturday??? Calgon!!!!

Anyhooters...really, what a great thing to know my kids like being at our house and their friends feel welcome here...but really, all in one weekend before a party? Yes, it doesn't get any better than this!!

Journey Home..

We all move to different places in our lives, whether it's physically moving to another town or state and other times we move to another place mentally. My life's journey has been both. I've come a long way, both physically and mentally. It's all a part of growing and maturing. I love being the age I am today and how my life is today. I guess I tend to get a little more sentimental on days when babies are coming home to their forever families...I have two coming home tonight! So the pictures below are from when I came home to my forever family...twice in my life. The first one is when I was 4 1/2 years old, the second one is when I was 5 1/2 years old. I will be traveling back to Korea again the end of June...getting closer! But this time, my entire family is traveling with me. Seems so surreal right now, but I am so excited to see Korea thru the eyes of my kids! I have learned that the journey home is how you view your life and where you decide to place your roots and most of all, your heart.

Look who's traveling to Korea with us!

The Best Volunteer Job, Ever!

http://holtintl.org/blog/

Update on Sgt. Matt Lammers

Disillusionment

I didn't even know how to spell 'disillusionment' let alone even want to experience it, but in the past few years, I have been disappointed in how I saw something in my head compared to what it was in reality. Yes, we all learn something new everyday, but this, (cover your eyes Kora)this sucks!

I try and live my life by sharing in my blessings. I fight for what is right and I fight for others that may not voice their opinion. But I have learned that others don't see it that way and that I am doing all of this to say, 'Look at me'. People throw my name around because of the title I hold, but don't realize I don't speak to them as my title, I speak to them as a friend.

I have to take a lesson from my husband and keep business as business and keep it that way. And I have to heed my own advice and keep doing what I feel is right, but now with lessons learned, I have to step away.

Twitter-dee and Twitter-dumb

Technology is not my strength, so anything to do with a computer, I teach myself thru trial and many errors! But I keep at it as that is my determined personality to complete the task as I have lived all my life.

Even doing this blog was a challenge, ask my Sistah Amy, she was and still is, very patient with me to help me thru the process. Then enter into MySpace...did not like that at all so no longer doing that, messed up my computer and that was all I needed!

So onto facebook. The only reason why I can handle doing that is because I can access thru my crackberry, otherwise I wouldn't be doing it. I am getting better at it though!

Now it's Twitter...wha?? Tweeting on Twitter? And you follow other Twitterers? And there's an app for my blackberry called Twitterberry? I haven't gotten that far, yet! My head is spinning...but I do all of these networking sites just for that, to network. Guess you can teach an old dog new tricks! Should have used the screen name 'Twitter-dumb' but then how can other Twitterers follow me if they don't know who Twitter-dumb is? TGIF!!

Another Chapter

My life has been full of blessings and many roller coasters rides to get to where I am today. As I take on new responsibilities in my life, see the changes that will occur within my family after graduation, I ponder what the next chapter in my life will be.

I have decided that I am going full speed ahead with my birth family search in Korea. My family's trip this summer to Korea has really made me think of what it is I am searching for and what a momentous trip this will be for my entire family and one that I am not sure will ever be repeated(as in my entire family traveling to Korea together). SO! Where do I begin? I have four pictures of me when I was in Korea waiting for my forever family. I also have my admittance page from my orphanage.

Life is too short, I want to make the best of it and I don't want to waste anymore time. I've had all this information since 2006. I know what is important in life, family. I have shared this news with my mom, she's excited for me and this new journey. It's great to have her support as I know some adoptees do not receive support from their adoptive families.

I am almost 42 years old, there is still so much out there for me and I am so happy that I have grown up and matured and can truly see what is important. Life isn't all about me, though I have learned that if I don't do what is in my heart, then I lose who I am, but I have also learned that if you focus solely on yourself, then you hurt yourself and the ones you love the most. I am so excited for this new chapter, though I have no expectations except to be able to say, 'I Lived Happily Ever After'. Amen!

These are the one and only pictures of me from my orphanage; I treasure them, as these are the only ones I have seen of myself besides my referral picture:

Celebrating

Today, my husband and I are celebrating our 19th wedding anniversary. In reality, we are celebrating 28 1/2 years of being together...that is crazy and awesome at the same time! We have come a very long way from when we were 14 years old, a lot of hard work and determination to reach our goals. We grew up together, matured together, and have prioritized together. We truly are the best of friends.

We aren't very 'showy' with our gifts to one another because they have ranged thru/out the years according to what we could afford. Our first anniversary, we bought ourselves a rice cooker and we still use it to this day and love it! But we will celebrate this year's anniversary with a very momentous gift to one another. What is it? I won't say, (sorry) but it is something we have worked very hard towards. We both know we have been blessed but we know it wasn't by accident, marriage is a lot of work!

And to finish off the celebration of our anniversary, we will both go to the airport tonight to welcome a baby home to his forever family...now THAT is the best gift of all!

Success for our children

The pressure in today's society for our children is to succeed in everything. Does the pressure come from society and parents? Yes, but I like to think of myself as a parent that doesn't pressure my children. I view myself as wanting the success for my children so they won't feel the disappointment of all their hard work.

To succeed in the high school my two older children attend, the hard work must come from the individual, so as parents, we tell our children to give it 110%. That way, they know they gave it their all no matter what the outcome. When my hubby and I attended this same high school, anything we wanted to get involved in, we tried out and pretty much made the team if we showed some of the skills needed. Nowadays, kids have to start after they are potty trained in order to be competitive and have a chance.

My son has been playing soccer since he was five years old, now he is 15 years old and time for high school soccer. Tryouts were three days and the results were given right after the last tryout. I made sure my son knew to let me know when he was waiting for the results so I would have some idea, but no call, no text, no nothing!

Nervous as can be, I continued with making dinner and sat down with the rest of the family to eat. With my cell phone by my plate, we ate and talked as usual. Then my phone rang...caller ID stated it was my son. I was so nervous, I couldn't answer it so I handed it to my hubby. My daughters both covered their ears and I tried to eavesdrop the best I could. I heard my son say, "I'm done". Nothing more. My hubby said, "And..." My son's response, "Can you come pick me up"...goodness the kid is killing me! My son is not one to be real conversational on the phone, but does he not realize we are all dying to know??!! My hubby asked him if he made a team and I hear my son's voice say, "Yep". That's my son, even keel, no big deal, one word answers.

I knew he made a team and I yelled out a yahoooooo!! I was literally sweating being so nervous and I then started to cry. Yep, that's me, crying for everything and anything. I was so relieved and happy for my son, what a huge accomplishment and it finally paid off. I did not want another disappointment for my son, but with his easy going personality, reminds me that really, in the big scheme of things, it's no big deal one way or the other. But the mom in me is so so proud of him and so happy for him.