What is Racism?

Last night's Primetime show asked, 'What would you do?' in regards to speaking out and defending someone that was being mistreated because he/she didn't speak English here in America. Well, being a different race, myself, I would speak up and defend the individual. I have lived with comments whispered behind my back and the all wonderful question, 'What are you?' and the assumptions that are made because I am Asian living in America.

I am a person that does not believe in being politically correct at all times because people have taken that way overboard. But, hearing people whisper behind my back, ask questions that would normally not be asked to a 'white' person, I feel is offensive. So if I feel that behavior is offensive, does that make the other person a racist?

Oprah

I love what that name envokes when people see that name and I love the image that envokes when I tell people I watch her show. Yep, a stay at home mom, sitting at home and eating bon bons while watching Oprah and bashing on men...well, I may eat the bon bons, but I do not bash on men.

Today's show is about living your best life and the best part, 'putting yourself as priority'. I have done just that and tell others to do just that. Yes, I can make it look easy because I have a good life, BUT it wasn't always easy for me and I lost myself and didn't put myself as priority.

A few years ago, I stopped making New Year's resolutions because it just set me up for failure. So I made a resolution to never make another one again! And I know, if you, out there, still want to make them, go ahead, I am just stating what works for me. Make them so you can succeed though!

I have vowed to never lose myself again and to live life like I talk. There's something inside of me that makes sure I continue to survive and determined to be happy. It is liberating to be happy, no matter what it is...my family telling me they loved my cooking; the smell of a clean house; the look of a very nicely made bed; the freshly fallen snow; rain(yes, I said rain for my NW friends-rain makes everything so new again!); the change of seasons; my fluffy and warm slippers; my wonderful family; being able to text fast on my blackberry(I will never go back to a regular cell phone again!); my very wonderful husband who spoils me rotten!; my ice maker-gotta have my ice water daily!; my wonderful kids that are so motivated daily to go to school; my ability to give back to Holt; all of my wonderful friends around the country and around the world...my list goes on and on...

So take it from one very determined person and put yourself as priority!! It really does change your life! And trust me, it wasn't easy for me to do that either! Good luck and I wish for all of you to 'Live your BEST Life'!

The Gift of Jet Lag

Always hits me on the 2nd and 3rd days. I slept great last night, but now, as you can see, I am wide awake.

So I will post about the greatest gift of all from my trip. Enduring the 9 1/2 hour flight to San Francisco, the delay out of San Fran onto Denver, 3 hour layover, then home to Omaha...worth every minute(hours)because we brought two babies home to their families!! I can't tell you what this experience is like, you just have to do it. I am the delivery nurse-the greeter for Omaha where I help the families at the airport when their children come home. This is now my 3rd time being the delivery doctor.

It is amazing the bond that is created in this amount of time traveling, but it really happens. And when that little baby trusts you, your heart just bursts. Everyone teases about how hard it would be to give the babies to their families, but for me, it's not hard at all. I've been on the receiving end of all this so I know what the parents are going thru and I wouldn't want to spoil the moment for them.

The two boys we brought home were 9 and 10 months old. What precious cargo we were in charge of but we were determined to get these precious babies home for Christmas! Imagine that, these parents get to celebrate their sons' first Christmas together! So heart-warming to know that as I celebrate with my children, these parents will be celebrating with theirs.

But the bonus too, there were four babies that our team escorted home to their families!! What a Merry Christmas!!!

A Day of Hope and Grace

I knew what today's event would entail, I have been preparing for quite sometime now, but when it comes right down to it, I am not prepared at all. I haven't described the other days' events because I haven't processed this week quite yet. But today, what an emotional day as an adoptee, mother, and an adoptive mother.

Our day was spent touring a facility for unwed mothers outside of Seoul. I've known about this shelter for a couple of years now, but this was my very first visit. What an oasis for mothers that are pregnant and not married. The support and education they receive would otherwise not be provided for them if this facility didn't exist. How tragic for a mother if that were to occur when her life is in turmoil over how to care for herself, let alone the birth of her child.

When an unwed mother is not accepted in her own family or by her own culture, this place becomes her home and the staff and other mothers become her family. So the name of this shelter translates to 'Graceful Garden'. I loved the logo for this shelter, a tree with hearts as it's leaves.

As I mentioned, I've known about this shelter only because my husband and I helped a little. And to go there in person and see the name, 'Graceful Garden'; my youngest daughter's Korean name translates to 'Grace'. How fitting is that, that this facility would be for birth mothers and with my small involvement of support, my daughter's name is forever a part of it. I have always been grateful to my birth mother, never knowing her, but knowing she made the most heart-wrenching decision of her life and my youngest daughter's birth mother did the same.

Graceful Garden gives these mothers a sense of Hope, no matter the choice they will make for their babies. My Hope for them is that they never regret the choices they make. A mother's love never dies when there is Hope and Grace.

My Family Back Home and Here

My family back home, they get all the fun! NOT! The first day I was gone, I heard from my husband that my son had gotten sick during school so now he was home with the stomach virus.

I catch up on emails at the wee hours of the morning when I wake up and now read an email from my husband, that while having to drive 2 1/2 hours home with our youngest daughter, after a fun-filled day of cheer leading competition...he's not feeling well. I almost laughed at his description but then again, I was laughing so I wouldn't cry...He had to concentrate on driving and not stop or he wouldn't have made it home.

So the email continues with our youngest daughter waking up from sleeping in the back seat , yep, you guessed it...she got sick...oh dear. They managed to get out of the car(for the most part). Somehow my husband found his way home, deep breathing as if in labor. Now he is in and out of the bathroom himself, let alone, our youngest daughter. No Christmas program for her at church!

Then I get a another email from my youngest daughter saying she is so excited about going to cheerleading practice Monday to see if see if she will work out as a 'flyer'(the person that gets tossed in the air). Um...if she's got the stomach virus...I wouldn't want to be her base group! Hope she's feeling better because her email, she was so darn excited!

Now I am praying my oldest daughter won't get this stomach virus...not fun! And I go home in two days...I hope I don't get it either, with that and jet lag!! I will be worthless until the new year!!

I have a warped sense of humor sometimes, but reading my hubby's email at least gave me something to write about here. This is my 4th time with this gift trip, but I am not able to write about it for some reason. Don't get me wrong, I am loving every second of the trip. I think I am processing it differently this year. The places I have gone to, I've been to many times before. I've seen the same children/adults now for several years(including the two other trips not related to this team).

I think my processing is different because as I think of my family back home, all of these children and adults I see here, they too are my family, but I only see them once or twice a year. I feel attached to everyone here and now I am emotionally tied into them. I want for them what my children have and what I have. The staff that care for the children, the staff that work so hard to keep our mission going, they are my family too, for without them, these children would not be getting the love they so deserve.

I get teased because I go on this trip so often, but my worst fear is that if I don't go, the needs will not be met and the toys, supplies and extras will have to be put back on the shelf. I have faith in those that will go, but I understand what happens in the background. Plus, thinking that I won't start off my Christmas season by bringing Christmas here, I'm not sure how I am going to feel. I'm not making any sense here, I know, but it is hard for me to describe. I guess it's because I have a hard time allowing myself to enjoy all the blessings I have unless I share them first.

Why I even get emotional over this, no one has specifically said I 'can't' go on this trip again...so I will wipe up my tears now and meet the day with the same passion I meet everyday I am here, with gratitude and excitement and most of all, with HOPE.

Pictures

Who is this group of ladies at Ilsan?

My Aunt Jeanne is the one that noticed:So had to do the Kodak moment and get Jeanne in the group since Jeanne works for the American Red Cross:

My all-time favorite picture, to share in this moment with the person I am sharing the trip with:
This is looking down over the valley of Ilsan from the resting place of Harry and Bertha, so fitting for them to still watch over their children:

And then we come to our 'fearless' leader:

I wanted to post this for Kora:

And now we are ready to play Santa!

Thoughts of the trip from my Aunt

Here I am a 1/2 a world away in a country where almost everyone looks different than I, language is not my language and even the written words are unrecognizable. It is an interesting experience listening to someone speak and not understand what they're saying until someone interprets it for us. It is interesting to see the effects of war in a divided country some 50 years after a cease fire. Barbed wire along the freeway as we travel north to Ilsan today-closer to the DMZ and North Korea. Farming vegetables in greenhouses. Stories of families divided. Onto our destination-Holt Ilsan Center to host the Christmas party for the residents. An oasis of love between Seoul and North Korea for special needs children and adults. We bring them Christmas, but the gift they give us is so much more. The first stop we made is to the administrative building. Can you imagine my surprise when I see a group of women wearing yellow vests that say Korean Red Cross! Kim-it's a Kodak moment! They are one of many volunteer groups that come to hep with occupational therapy or lend a hand wherever they can once a month. How providential is that! Kim tells me that she has never encountered the Red Cross here on any of her prior 3 visits!

I hear people in our group say Ilsan is a magical place. I understand. If you look and listen with your heart, you see a place teeming with dedication to creating a loving home environment and family. The residents help each other and dedicated staff help each resident achieve their highest level of functioning. We separate up into 2 groups and staff have 'Santa bags' for each of us to deliver. Our shoes come off at the door and the residents are excitedly awaiting their presents. My turn finally comes. I have been coached on Korean etiquette and I remember how to present a gift! Would you believe he Red Cross is present in the group I am selected to present to? The timing was random! The special event is yet to come! This day is something the residents look forward to all year. A party for everyone in the gym with Santa!

There is a Christian group that uses traditional Korean instruments to play Christmas carols. The tune is the same but the words-in Korean! We have someone at our table to translate. Our turn to sing! Our group, led by Addi and Hannah, perform Jingle Bells in English!

We also have the opportunity to give special presents to special residents. I was able to present a bowling set to a resident. He was shaking he was so excited and happy! What fun and what memories!

Other memorable moments occurred yesterday at the luncheon to recognize and honor the foster mothers and after that walking over to the Holt Reception Center to play with the babies! I was able to feed cereal to an older baby and then hold one of the younger ones. He got tagged with the nickname 'little Elvis' thanks to his hairdo! What a sweetie!

The exciting news we here today-4 babies will be meeting their new American families before Christmas with us as their escorts! More baby time! More bubble up time I'm sure! Kathy-you know what I mean! It is an amazing experience overall. One that will take awhile to process. Many memories to hold in my heart.