Trying to be 'hip'

So I have tried MySpace, stopped using that forum very quickly since it was messing up my computer everytime. So now it's onto Facebook. Why do I use these forums? Because so many people tell me that is how I need to network. What am I networking for? I am trying to network with adoptees so trying different avenues. I'm just a little slow at doing all that it entails to keep up to date on Facebook. I see so many others posting and such, I just don't do that. It's hard enough for me to post on here!

So my other purpose for being on other forums, searching for any member of my birth family. I post my referral picture as my profile picture, not because I don't want others to see what I look like today, but in the small chance that someone out there may recognize me. Yes I know, long shot, but I have also come to see that this really is a small world after all.

When I travel to Korea, I am usually on a set tour trip so I don't have spare time to do a search. I know, I know, I could just travel to Korea and make it a priority to do a search.

What have I found out about my past? I was only in the orphanage for three years, not four years like I had thought. So now my first year of life remains a mystery. Do I HAVE to find out about my past? No, I just feel it would be such gift if I did find a connection. Nothing more, nothing less. I just don't want to leave let it go and then regret not even trying.

I was talking to my husband last night about what it feels like being an adoptee. There really isn't that much difference from being a 'birth' child. Does anyone really 'choose' who their parents are going to be? No. Is it easier to put blame on being adopted for all that went 'wrong' in my life? Yes. But I don't do that either. Most of what I experienced in my life is just life. We all need to know that we need to start taking responsibility for our own lives and happiness and the path we choose to take. As adults, we have to claim our own happiness. No one else can make that happen. The easy way out is to blame others.

Yes, it took me til I was in my 30's to really take control of my own happiness and see my path in life. It differs for everyone. My advice is to take your time, take control, and most importantly, do what it is you really want to do. I was talking about dreams the other day with some friends. Do you have to have dreams? I've thought about that more since then. My thinking is no, it's okay if you don't have dreams, because just maybe you have already fulfilled them....