A Foster Mother's Love

The speech given by a foster mother:

"Five years ago, I had a mind to give someone a helping hand and started taking care of Holt children. At the right moment when the child was held in my arms for the first time, I was deeply moved looking at the child's eyes and my heart was full. Little children look like angels. I thought they are my daughter and my son, and devoted myself to taking care of them. When children are with me, they carry my thoughts back to the past. Someday suddenly the child is sick and is fretful and I hold the child in my arms and I sat up for the whole night without sleeping a wink. The child cries endlessly day and night and I am bathed in tears and it makes me sad and broken-hearted from time to time. I could not express myself how difficult I am, how broken-hearted I am, and how happy I am....etc. I heartily hope the child will be adopted by good parents and the child will grow up happily and healthily in the child's new home. As the child's departure date is coming closer and closer, my heart is palpitated flashily. I am in absent-minded for a while. I have a pang of sorrow thinking that I have to part from the child. I decided not to shed tears of sorrow because the child goes to her new nice home for the sake of the child's better life in the future, but I cried with the loud sounds shedding tears incessantly on my face when the child's back view disappeared from my sight. For the sake of the happy life in the future I have to bury the child's figure in my heart. Those pains make me tears. However, when I look at the child's pretty and healthy appearance a when i received the child's picture and letter from the child's new parents, I am very happy to see her pretty and healthy appearance in the picture. You do not know how happy I am at that time. Today I pledge myself to see the lovely child. So, I am here now. I do not know I can get a prize like this and I am thankful to Holt and I am pleased to receive this prize, but I am very much shamed. I have a pride in my own way, so I am still working for Holt. However, I am not a proper person to get praised from the people. I am so sorry to many children. When I am with children, I do my best for them. However, after leaving them, I am so sorry not to do my best for children. I did not hold children in my arms more often and I am kicking myself not to give them my love. I do not know how long I keep my work for children. meeting children, and soon I have part from them. It is a great pity that I have to part from children and it makes me hurt in my heart. On the other hand, I am happy with labors. I think it is a mission which is given to me by God.

I will pray to God for children and their family, I assure all of you that I will do my best for children and I will take care of them prettily with all my hearts and love."

Deeper thoughts

As I re-read my blog entry from yesterday, I realize I didn't go into much detail about the day, but so much of this trip is emotional and it takes a few days, even weeks, to process what one experiences.

And the fact that I was very tired, didn't help, but I wanted to write something about my day so everyone back home would know what was happening.

Yesterday, one of the foster mothers spoke about her feelings regarding being a foster mother and caring for our children. We were handed the translation of her speech and as she was speaking, I began to read it...well, needless to say, I couldn't read past the first few lines before I had to get my sunglasses. I actually had to stop reading it. I hope to get permission to write her speech on here and then you will know why I needed my sunglasses...gosh darn it...I'm tearing up again just thinking about it. Stay tuned...

When the luncheon was over, I got my baby fix. We were able to go to the Holt Reception center and play with the babies. I got one little guy to laugh, it was one of those short, sweet laughs that you just can't stop but laugh with him when you hear him and I continued to make him laugh by saying boo to him. I could have taken this little guy home with me...don't worry family, I didn't smuggle him out...but I was oh so close!

Another gift team member was holding a little girl right before we were to leave and the poor little girl did the scene from 'Four Christmases' where the baby throws up. That's right, I didn't jump right up to help or I would have done it too! I know my family is shaking their heads right now...Ok, so I'm not good with that stuff, I can admit it! And I found out that my son has the stomach virus...um, good timing on my part to be away, not that I don't want to be home to take care of him, but the fact my hubby didn't need that on top of me being gone! Hope he starts feeling better soon and hope no one else at home gets it! Yuck...(Crossing my fingers)

What a wonderful surprise for me this early, early morning to open my email and receive a message from my friend who went on this trip with me last year. What a huge heart she has. She so wants to be on this trip with us so she has sent a wonderful donation for toys for our trip to the orphanage tomorrow. What a wonderful friend, she is my Utah Sistah, we were two peas in a pod last year. And with this last minute generosity, I know she knows the true meaning of Christmas, it's about giving because we have been blessed. I love her for that. Everyone knows that Christmas for me is about giving and making it the best for everyone possible and now I received this wonderful gift from my friend and for that, I thank her and love dearly with my whole heart. She calls me Kimchee because I am Korean(duh) and spicy!! Thank you, thank you, you made me need my sunglasses, but thank goodness I am in my room alone so I can let the tears flow as they may...

Love and hugs to everyone back home!!

The Hardest Job in the World

Here is the Gift Team watching the History of Holt video at the Holt Korea offices:

We all got a nice treat from some members of the Ilsan choir as they sang Christmas songs for us. We can all learn a great deal from these choir members, they sing with gusto and is so inspiring:

After the official ceremony of honoring our foster mothers, they too, must be in a group photo:

I say these foster mothers have the hardest job in the world, for they give of themselves with their whole heart to care for our children until they are placed with their forever family. I always say the toughest part of raising a child is from an infant to six months, then they 'start' being fun. Our foster mothers raise and love our kids during these months over and over again, child after child. They truly are our angels watching over our angels. We honored foster mothers for their service of 5-35 years and those that were retiring.

During the luncheon and ceremony, the two young girls on our team met their foster mothers. I will not tell what happened, because this is their story to tell and their parents that were able to attend this trip with them. Just as an observer, adoptee, mother, and adoptive mother, these types of reunions touch my heart greatly. To see the joy on the faces of the foster mothers, pure sunglasses moment(for when I cry).

Here is our tour leader showing us how to make and eat the traditional Korean BBQ...needless to say, I l-o-v-e this dinner, my all time favorite!! Man it's good to be back in Korea and eat Korean food!! I even ate kimchi for breakfast!! As my hubby would say, it's in my blood...oh yeah baby!!!

Here is my Aunt at our Koren BBQ dinner, and yes, we are sitting on the floor! And no, that is not her beer!!

I slept thru the night!

It always amazes me that I can sleep thru the night on my first night here. Guess not being able to sleep on a 13 hour flight has it's advantages! So here is what I look at when I think I have been traveling for SO long on the flight:

I think to myself, 'Wow, I have been flying for a long time now', then look at the monitor and realize, I still have 8 MORE hours of flying!!!

Then I look at this:

And realize how cool is that! To see myself crossing over the international date line. This always gets me tho, it messes me up on my days and when I finally think I have it down, I mess it up when I talk to my family back home. Oh well, Koreans can have blonde moments too!!

We arrived at the airport and everyone's luggage arrived and no one got stopped at customs!! So here is the 2008 Holt Gift Team, one of many group photos to come. The Gift Team consists of volunteers from Oregon, Washington, Nebraska, Iowa, and Ohio:

In Korea and Tired

To say the least! I am not one to sleep on the plane, I sure wish I could tho on such a long flight! It does help to be seated in economy plus, even for my short legs. I am off to bed, way too tired and we have a full day tomorrow. I will write tomorrow!! Good night or good morning for most of you! Love and miss you all!!

Korea or Bust!

I can finally say I am ready for my trip! Christmas cards are done and ready to mail...the trees are decorated...the schedule is typed out for my family...and I am almost packed, which is saying a lot since I usually don't pack until the night before!

The next time I will post will be from Korea...I am so excited so stay tuned!

Thanks Mom, for the Reminder...

That TODAY is MY Gotcha Day! Wow! I haven't thought about my own Gotcha Day in a long time, probably because I am always so busy with living life! For those that do not know what a 'Gotcha Day' is, it is the day when a child joins their forever family. So today is my 36th anniversary of the day I joined my forever family...amazing. And to think of how far I have come in my life...

I have been so blessed, though the road wasn't always easy, but with the all the challenges, it made me that much more of a stronger person. I really wouldn't trade my experiences, for all of them, the GOOD and the bad, made me the person I am today. I was given a wonderful chance at life and happiness and I am proof that dreams really do come true! How lucky am I to have a wonderful family of my own and be able to give back to those that have truly been instrumental in giving me this life!

In eight days, I will depart for Korea. I get the wonderful opportunity to give back to Holt, but in reality, I am the one that receives the wonderful gifts of seeing our dedicated Holt-Korea staff, our foster families, and most of all, the children and adults in our orphanages and at Ilsan.

No wonder this time of year always gets to me, it's the time of year I was given the gift of my forever family. Thank you, mom, and I am so happy we are sharing the Holidays together! I love you!