Do You Think It's Time..

To get a new laptop when some of the keys stck ramdomly? Yes, 've had several keys at random moments stck and when type, that letter doesn't appear. can type t n when really push on t, but have to really focus and do t when am typng at my normal speed.

have a smaller laptop, love t for the thngs do for regular emals, volunteer actvtes, and household thngs. My kds use t for school snce t has the updated word on t to be compatble to send to ther school accounts.

When am tryng to catch up on emals and have a lot of typng to do, t really gets annoyng. Makes gettng thngs done take longer than 'd lke. So do go ahead and type away and not worry about the mssng letter? t's crazy tryng to read t though, even though you can fgure out what letter s mssng, sometmes.

One can tell use my laptop a lot because even some of the keys are worn off and you can't read what letter t s unless you look closely. Good thng know where the keys are automatcally. Okay, truth s, the keys are worn off because of my nals.

We are lookng nto a new famly computer, maybe need a new laptop? But then agan, really, really lke my laptop, love the sze of t for when travel too, so easy to take. As usual, lke my hubby says on thngs want to buy, can't push 'enter' and just buy t. know the stckng key wll come back, t usually does, but then agan, t'll be another key at some random tme. That makes lfe nterestng though doesn't t?

Sorry Kids, But You Have to Choose

Every year, I go thru the same thing at the beginning of the school year and fill out forms for each of my kids. And we have to check what nationality they are. Now with the official 2010 Census, I had to fill it out again.

With my two older kids, what do I check? Caucasian or Asian? Usually for school forms, I check both, could I do that on the Census? No. So what nationality do my kids HAVE to choose? They are 50/50 so either way, they diss the other. I was surprised that Korean was even an option on the Census.

I read on the Yahoo page about this issue yesterday, but it referred to being half black and half caucasian. Just like President Obama and he checked black(sorry mama Obama).

So if you check one race over the other, does that make that race seem more important? Do I tell my kids to choose Asian so they can get ahead in life and use the system? No, I wouldn't do that.

My two kids will have to face this for the rest of their lives until the options include more choices or that you can check two(or more)races. I guess if we are getting technical, my kids would have to check three races. Good Lord, getting really carried away now. For now kids, sorry, but you will have to choose just one.

Being Presentable

Throughout the weekdays when I am the only one in the house, I like to have my house clean and 'presentable' just in case unexpected guests arrive. I've done that in previous houses, but when I thought about it, my current house and location, how many people will stop by because they were in the neighborhood? Not too many.

I laughed to myself yesterday as I strapped on my backpack vacuum cleaner, that's right, a vacuum cleaner that is the size of a backpack and you wear it like a backpack. I found it online because my wood floors are too soft to handle any kind of bumps or scraps...really drives me crazy. Plus the fact that the dark color shows the dust and every crumb. So one will find me either with the backpack vacuum or the Swiffer dry vac on a daily basis.

Not only are my floors clean, but my kitchen counters must be cleared off and clean too. But I don't go as far as dusting furniture or shelves, I'm not 'that' OCD, just lazy. So yesterday after school, my daughter had a friend over and as she was washing her hands, she said, "Wow, your house is so clean, I wish my house was this clean, we have toys everywhere!" See, even an 11yr old can appreciate my efforts, too funny. I told her I remember those days of toys all over and that we have been way past that point in our lives because of the ages of my kids. She still has two younger brothers in her family.

So my house is presentable, BUT I am not. I have my hair pulled up in a messy bun, no make up and a wardrobe of layered old t-shirts (some are ten years old too) and baggy sweats. If someone rings my doorbell and this is how I look, then I will not answer the door. Yep, that is my daily look. So why do I even bother with keeping my house looking presentable?? Because I love my house and I love how it looks when it's clean!

The Following was Written by My Friend and Fellow Adoptive Mom

This Is Our Truth

Have you been listening to the news or reading the newspaper? If so, you've probably heard/read all kinds of stories about the mom who adopted from Russia & recently sent her son back to his birth-country. There are also stories about abuse, neglect, unfit parents, human trafficking & unethical agencies.

Some of those stories infuriate me. They infuriate me because that's what some people will choose to believe adoption is all about. Because of these stories, the Joint Council on International Children's Services has asked adoptive families to speak out about the truth of international adoption.

But what is the truth of international adoption? For us, the truth about adoption (specifically international adoption) is that LOVE, not DNA, is what makes up our family.

The trust is that international adoption is not an easy road. It comes with rules & regulations. It's frustrating & crazy & amazing & wonderful & complicated & hard & so incredibly rewarding. It comes from loss. For us, adoption was not our 2nd choice to become parents & grow our family. Adoption was just the next choice. We're not ashamed to have chosen international adoption over fertility treatments. We are 100% certain this was the plan God had for our family.

The truth is having your social worker call & ask to come see you. It's sitting on the couch across from her & hearing her say, "Your son's birthmom returned & wants him back." The truth is that she has every right to do that. The truth is having to let him go.

The truth is that our children have other parents. They have birthparents & foster parents. They have nannies, orphanage directors & Holt staff in the US & in China & Vietnam that loved & saw them before we ever had that opportunity. They have a past that we will never know in full detail. Sadly, they may not, either.

The truth is that these birthfamilies, foster families, orphanage staff & Holt staff are forever connected to us, too. Some we know & love; some we met while traveling to pick up our children. Some we will never cross paths with.

The truth is that we attended classes that helped inform us of the great loss our children experienced & to understand that as best as we can. The truth is that how our institutionalized children act is a mystery to us & others. It's sometimes a struggle & a frustration to figure out why your 2 1/2 yr. old wants to nurse or why your pre-schooler can't understand why he doesn't have the same color of skin you do & never will.

The trust is smiles, hugs, tears, tantrums, joys, sorrow. The truth is hearing your daughter say, "I love you too much, mommy," as she sits on the potty. It's hearing your son say, "You're my bestest mom ever."

The truth is that I will always become flustered when someone asks "are they yours," because you know without a doubt that they are, but know that other people don't always 'get it.' The truth is that there are facts about my kid's past that I know, but don't have the liberty to share simply because it's not my story.

The truth is that we wanted to parent, not simply 'save' a child. The truth is that our children more brave than we are because of what they've lost & gained as a result of international adoption.

The truth is that what happens in China & Vietnam is now of interest to me because that's where ny kids were born. The truth is that we now consider racism & physical differences in our daily lives because of how our family looks to others.


The trust is that we clean cheese off the dishwasher door & pick baseballs out of the toilet because of international adoption. The truth is that I have blue slushy on basement carpet because my child, yes, MY child, spilled it & I can't get it out. The truth is that I have dandelions on my counter right this moment because my 2 blessings picked them for me this morning.

The truth is that when we look at our children, we do wonder who they look like & where their personalities come from. The truth is that our children are ours...plainly & simply ours. The truth is that we don't look alike, but we love alike. The truth is: We wonder how all our lives would be different if it were not for international adoption. The truth is: We're not willing to find out.


***

Kids Say the Funniest Things

I thought my kids were past the age of saying funny things because they know the meaning of words. But my almost 12 year old daughter has been cracking me up lately in normal conversations. I really need to write these things down for keepsake purposes because I tend to forget things more and more.

A couple of the words my daughter uses, thinking she is using them correctly(can you figure out the correct words?):

"That 'deceased' me."

"Viola!"

Does anyone remember the cigarettes, Virgina Slims? Someone told her at school they were called 'Vagina Sluts'...@_@ Thank goodness we corrected this for her.

A word that she mispronounces:

Canon(as in the camera)=ka non(as in 'non-sense')

I have to start writing these things down more, we get a good laugh from them.

Frustrated...

So much so, I would love to be able to scream out at the top of my lungs! I am more than just frustrated. I am overwhelmed and anxious too. Guess this time of year consumes so much of my time. And I am one to say no to a lot of things, I am not one to always raise my hand and volunteer for things, but lately, it seems like I have a lot on my plate.

Between my obligations, family, and life's stresses, my mood is horrid. Well, maybe not horrid, but I'm not in a good mood. Did I mention I was frustrated?

So what do I do to change my mood? And when I think harder about what is making me feel this way, some of the things seem like piddly things, but when those piddly things add up, it makes for a bad mood. I am trying so hard to stay positive. The weather is gorgeous finally, spring flowers are blooming, the days are getting longer...ugh!!!!

My kids are frustrating me too, my two older kids. I'm sure my youngest will get under my skin soon, where there's a lull and peace, something will come up with her to add to the frustration.

Right now, I feel like a horrible parent. What have I taught my kids? Do I really have to spell things out for them? I guess so. I try not to compare myself with my kids from when I was growing up, but it's like night and day. Do they appreciate what they have? Don't they feel like bettering themselves and striving harder and harder? Things have been given to them way too freely. My fault as a parent.

Knowing the struggles and having to struggle in life, doesn't that make a person want to try really, really hard for themselves? Does struggling make a person appreciate things more? Want to contribute more? Doesn't accomplishing things by trying hard make it that much sweeter when something is accomplished?

What do I do? How do I get thru to my kids? Why don't they want to contribute more? I know, it's because I never made them. What the heck am I afraid of standing up for hard work? I did it and look at me now.

Parenting is so hard. When I think I'm doing things right, stuff comes up and slaps me in the face.

Did I mention I am frustrated??

Spring Break at Home

I guess nowadays, staying home for a vacation is called a 'staycation'. Even though we are on spring break and at home does not mean we are not doing a darn thing. I feel like I am just as busy, just not driving back and forth to school and back.

Soccer games and pasta feeds, hosting our third and final pasta feed tomorrow. Think we have done our good deed for the year?

Cheerleading tryouts, meetings and practices.

Working on Board agendas; working on receptions for Holt; continuously updating the calendar...been a very busy week of break so far.

Now the boat has been delivered which shows the promise of fun nights and weekends to come...with relaxation, right? I sure hope so!

Kids' Tryouts

No matter what sport or activity my kids choose to tryout for, I always feel I go thru it with them. I don't mean as a stage mom, but as a mom that wants the outcome my kids are hoping for. I've done my thing already, I don't live thru my kids and what they do.

My kids have tried out for soccer, gymnastics, baseball, skating, track, cheerleading, and basketball. Each time, I have felt I was going thru it with them. I usually don't stress out about things, but when it comes to my kids and their interests, I tend to stress out. I don't like seeing them be disappointed, though I know that is all a part of life.

The waiting for the results is what kills me and I try not to show it, especially in front of my kids. There have been many times where the results weren't exactly what my kids had hoped for, but that's when we have the talk about making the best of it and giving it 110% no matter what. I tell my kids that even though the result wasn't what they had hoped for, the coaches, instructors and so on are still watching and will remember for future tryouts.

Last year, my youngest daughter, who is in competitive cheerleading, tried out and the result was very disappointing to her and to us. She didn't make the level we thought she should have been placed in. We discussed the situation with the coaches and I even had her talk to her coach to show that she was serious about her sport and learn how to handle these disappointing situations, even at the age of 11. In the end, we came to the conclusion that she would remain on the current team, make the most of it, be a leader and have fun with it. She did just that and had a fun year.

Tryouts this year just ended over the Easter weekend. The wait just for her to try out was almost three hours at the gym, we thought we would be a little early, but ended up being towards the end of the list. Anyway, my daughter held in there and did awesome, of course I would think that, but really, she did everything that was asked of her. So then the wait began for the entire weekend!! I tried not to think of it, but it was hard not to.

Sunday evening arrived and I thought just maybe they would post the placements earlier than they had stated, but no, the postings were even later than scheduled. Finally, there it appeared on the website, the placements! I clicked on the link, I scrolled down the pages to find my daughter's name...seemed like an eternity...and there it was, her name on the team that she wanted!! And the bonus part, the level of the team was two levels higher than what she is currently on! She jumped from a level three team to a level five team! For those not in competitive cheerleading, this is a HUGE jump and a huge accomplishment, especially for my daughter being in the sport for only three years.

To see the joy and excitement on my daughter's face, truly priceless!! After the disappointment of last year's results, I reminded her that being patient, making the best of the year and giving it her all paid off and that she showed thru/out the year she was serious and now she has been rewarded. I was so relieved for her and excited at the same time, I don't think my heart stopped racing for about an hour.

I'm so glad tryouts are over for all of my kids, I don't think I could take it anymore. I need to rest up for next year's tryouts!

"It's Mom and Dad"

This past Christmas and now Easter yesterday, my hubby and I didn't have to play Santa or the Easter Bunny. Our youngest daughter let us know prior to Christmas that she knew we were Santa and the Easter Bunny.

Relief or end of the childhood years? First was relief. Being Santa was and is a huge task no matter who you are. As our kids got older, it became harder and harder to find gifts that were from this mythical person. We made sure to limit the number of gifts from Santa to three presents per child, the same amount Jesus received from the Three Wise Men. Also, the three gifts were not the most expensive gifts. We wanted to make sure that our kids knew that mom and dad were the ones that loved and cared about them the most, rather than this mythical person. Our Christmas Eve was less stressful which made for a wonderful Christmas morning celebration.

Easter Eve, we would turn into the crazy Easter Bunny and fill and hide eggs. This year, we didn't have to do that, besides the fact that we have no clue where the eggs are in the boxes from our move. I have to admit, it was fun filling the eggs with candy and the loose change we had collected over the year, which added up to quite a lot of money.

So my hubby asked me if our youngest daughter would be disappointed that we didn't hide eggs. I didn't think so. I think he is the one that misses the end of the childhood years of all three of our kids. He's very sentimental about these things, even though I am the one that made sure we had everything possible to make the Eve events happen. We were always stressed and pressed for time in getting things done the night before. It was nice not having to feel the pressure the night before.

Easter Sunday, we didn't have one piece of chocolate in the house or even one jelly bean, nothing. It was refreshing to know that we could focus on the true meaning of Easter and enjoy the Easter service at church and time with family afterwards.

Adios Santa and Easter Bunny, thanks for the memories!