Yes, I'm Korean, but for a very long time, I never wanted to admit it, face it, be it. That has changed over the years, but trust me, it took me a long time to come to terms with it. When i was young, I already knew I was different. I knew I was adopted, I knew I didn't look like everyone else.
I was a happy kid though. I felt like I was just like everyone else. I even saw myself as being a normal, everyday American kid, size and all. I knew I was short, but I didn't see myself as being really short. I was always told that I was so petite. I just saw that as everyone calling me short. I thought I wore size medium and larges like some of my friends. It took me until well into my 40's to finally buy clothes in size small.
So now here I am, almost 44 and I am truly comfortable in my own Korean skin. I love seeing my name written in hangul: 김 미 승 that is my Korean given name, Kim Mi Sung. I love being around other Koreans, I love kimchee and have actually brought it into my home more and more, much to the disgust of my entire family. Oh well, they can get used it to it because I am having kimchee as much as possible.
I have a lot of pottery from Korea and will continue to buy more. Each trip I have brought home pottery, love looking at it daily in my home.
The one area that I will not be full Korean is learning to speak Korean. My brain just doesn't work that way and I'm very comfortable with not knowing how to speak Korean even in Korea. I proudly tell everyone in Korea that I only speak English and though they are surprised, they have embraced me with open arms.
Becoming Korean has been fun, becoming who I truly am has been an amazing journey.
1 comment:
That's so awesome, Kim! I think it's so cool that you are kind of getting back to your roots. I'm not sure I will ever do that...I am SO comfortable in my "white" skin that relating to anything Asian is really difficult for me. But perhaps when I am in my 40s...
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