My family back home, they get all the fun! NOT! The first day I was gone, I heard from my husband that my son had gotten sick during school so now he was home with the stomach virus.
I catch up on emails at the wee hours of the morning when I wake up and now read an email from my husband, that while having to drive 2 1/2 hours home with our youngest daughter, after a fun-filled day of cheer leading competition...he's not feeling well. I almost laughed at his description but then again, I was laughing so I wouldn't cry...He had to concentrate on driving and not stop or he wouldn't have made it home.
So the email continues with our youngest daughter waking up from sleeping in the back seat , yep, you guessed it...she got sick...oh dear. They managed to get out of the car(for the most part). Somehow my husband found his way home, deep breathing as if in labor. Now he is in and out of the bathroom himself, let alone, our youngest daughter. No Christmas program for her at church!
Then I get a another email from my youngest daughter saying she is so excited about going to cheerleading practice Monday to see if see if she will work out as a 'flyer'(the person that gets tossed in the air). Um...if she's got the stomach virus...I wouldn't want to be her base group! Hope she's feeling better because her email, she was so darn excited!
Now I am praying my oldest daughter won't get this stomach virus...not fun! And I go home in two days...I hope I don't get it either, with that and jet lag!! I will be worthless until the new year!!
I have a warped sense of humor sometimes, but reading my hubby's email at least gave me something to write about here. This is my 4th time with this gift trip, but I am not able to write about it for some reason. Don't get me wrong, I am loving every second of the trip. I think I am processing it differently this year. The places I have gone to, I've been to many times before. I've seen the same children/adults now for several years(including the two other trips not related to this team).
I think my processing is different because as I think of my family back home, all of these children and adults I see here, they too are my family, but I only see them once or twice a year. I feel attached to everyone here and now I am emotionally tied into them. I want for them what my children have and what I have. The staff that care for the children, the staff that work so hard to keep our mission going, they are my family too, for without them, these children would not be getting the love they so deserve.
I get teased because I go on this trip so often, but my worst fear is that if I don't go, the needs will not be met and the toys, supplies and extras will have to be put back on the shelf. I have faith in those that will go, but I understand what happens in the background. Plus, thinking that I won't start off my Christmas season by bringing Christmas here, I'm not sure how I am going to feel. I'm not making any sense here, I know, but it is hard for me to describe. I guess it's because I have a hard time allowing myself to enjoy all the blessings I have unless I share them first.
Why I even get emotional over this, no one has specifically said I 'can't' go on this trip again...so I will wipe up my tears now and meet the day with the same passion I meet everyday I am here, with gratitude and excitement and most of all, with HOPE.
1 comment:
So sorry about your fam back home having a stomach virus. Yuck. That's worst, feeling sick but having to "keep it together" (said repeatedly like Eddie Murphy in the movie Bowfinger). We will pray for your family to feel better.
Being a part of the gift team has been such a part of your life over the past few years. Give yourself a break. You love these people, you have a special relationship with these people, and you care about their well being. It's only natural that this year you would have mixed feelings about not coming back next year.
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