Who Am I?

Actually, I know who I am. I have many titles though: First and foremost, the biggest title I have is 'Mom', but my first title I received was 'Wife', for without this first title, I wouldn't have the title of mom. Those that know me know I married my high school sweetheart. Actually, we started dating just after 8th grade and I had just turned 14! I always say when I think of my own kids at 14, that is way too young! LOL! But I knew I would marry this person I met at this young age.

Now imagine staying with the same person since that age...growing up together, maturing together, tough ages too! Peer pressures, school pressures, family pressures, life pressures! We made it, but it wasn't all smooth. I really tested our relationship, part of that was due to me just trying to figure out who I was. We came from two totally different backgrounds. To survive all of my 'tests' my partner had to be strong or just as strong as I wanted to be. We both graduated from college and then married.

So then came my second title and THE title that I am known for, 'Mom'. Since I was little, I knew that is all I wanted to be, a mom. So now that I was a stay at home mom in a world where families are made up of two incomes, I didn't give myself credit for being a stay at home mom. Being a stay at home mom was my choice though, along with my husband. In the beginning wow, we were naive and good thing, because we thought we had made it as a family of three and my husband was making an income of $35,000.00 in 1992. We became a family of four two years later and we were still a one income family. As our family grew, so did my husband's career and thus, so did his income level.

We have been a family of five since 1998 and STILL a one income family. I think people assumed my husband's income was very high due to his title at work, people assume way too much don't they? But today yes, we are very, very fortunate and blessed. We made it work in the past, we prioritized, Skip worked very hard at work but I never, ever prayed for more money. I prayed always for things to work out, but never for more money.

With my title of mom came more titles: Scheduler, Room Parent, Chauffer, Team Manager, along with the automatic titles of Cook, Maid, and Nurse. This is what I 'signed' up for though. BUT with all these titles, I lost who I was, who was 'Kim'? As mothers, we put everyone ahead of ourselves(dads, I know you do the same, but this is about me right now and this is my blog, ok?). It's tough being a parent, it's tough being a career person, it's tough living life!

So how did I find myself? It took a lot of hard work, determination, AND maturity. I have made mistakes in the past, who hassn't? Hopefully we learn from the mistakes(which I have, thank goodness)and I finally put myself FIRST! I have learned that I 'allowed' myself to put myself first and I allowed myself to be deserving. I have gone thru a lot in my past and everything I felt I attached myself to was somehow 'taken' away. Those that know me know my story, it' a long story! I think it all started by being validated, we all need validation. I got validated by someone I hadn't even met or talked to, amazing how things work. That was just the beginning...

The next huge step for me was to step out of my comfort zone. That came in 2005 when I traveled to Korea for the first time all by myself. Needless to say, I was scared, you-know-what-less! My whole world literally opened up for me and I haven't stopped since! I talked a little bit about my travels, but it's more about my growth within. I gained a new title in the past two years, 'Board of Directors'. Wow huh? And to think I was a little orphan at one point...

What title am I most proud of? My M-O-M title. To be a mom was what I always wanted to be and I achieved it! My proudest title. And with my growth, I have given myself credit for my choice to be a stay at home mom(I always want to preface by saying that this is my life, my choices, whatever anyone else decides to do, good for you, be happy with your own choices, I know my limits and I know I could not be both a full-time worker and a full time mom, because no matter what, you are always a full time mom) .

I have given myself the right to deserve all that is good in my life, I've come a long way. I'm still growing and maturing and it's a good thing, I love this stage in my life. I woudn't trade my past, for my past made me who I am today, but I would never want to start all over again! It's great seeing my own kids grow and do what they want to do. I loved school, I had my fun and now I'm still having fun doing what I want to do! It's a great feeling knowing who I am! Trust me though, I still have my moody days!!