Fitting In

Don't we all try to fit in somewhere? Growing up, I've always thought I fit in wherever I was. We even try to fit into our clothes daily. We all want to be a certain size, we always think we should/could be a size smaller or two. It wasn't until my grown up years that I figured out that the clothes I was wearing were a few sizes too big. It took my oldest daughter to tell me that I am actually a size small. Are you sure? I swear I was at least a size medium. I've had people tell me all my life that I was 'small', but I took that as being short.

So why was I buying medium and large sizes? Because I saw myself as my peers. I wasn't an outsider, I was just like them. So if they were buying clothes in size medium, I did too. I did not see myself as the little Asian girl, I saw myself as a normal teenager and young adult living in the United States. When I looked in the mirror, it brought me back to reality and the fact that I am Korean. Oh well, I didn't have to look in the mirror that long anyway.

Did I have hang ups about my height? Yes, but who doesn't? When a girl is tall, doesn't she want to be shorter? Did I have hang ups about make-up? Yes, but what girl doesn't? Did I have hang ups about my hair? Yes, but...you get the picture.

I see my own kids go thru all of the above so it shows that just because I had some of these hang ups, it wasn't because I was adopted, it's because I was just growing up. And I'm still growing, not up, but more secure and mature.