What defines a Family?

Growing up and knowing I was adopted, did I feel like my family was 'my' family? Of course I did! I finally had a mom, a dad and a sister! I had parents that loved me unconditionally and cared for me thru thick and thin as a child. My sister and I were very close, we shared everything including a room. I think I grew up in a typical family household.

Then my parents divorced. Life changed dramatically for me. I felt alone and forgotten, but still determined to be happy and lead the life I was given. Where did my strength come from? Did it come from my birth parents? Did it come from my adoptive parents? Ah, the question of nature vs. nurture. For me, I feel it is both, I am living proof. It will be interesting to watch my youngest grow up and see her personality blossom and then look at the same question of nature vs. nurture.

The only time I didn't feel like my adoptive family was 'my' family was when I was in school and I had to do the family tree project...I dreaded that! Here I was full Korean and no knowledge of my birth parents and my adoptive parents were Swedish and German...kind of obvious when it came time for me to explain my family tree. I wish I knew then what I know today, thank goodness I will have this knowledge for my youngest. I have talked to other adoptive parents for their ideas on family trees and I was so impressed!

I'm not saying other adoptive kids, even my own daughter, will feel the way I did about this project but it is so nice to have other ideas and options. I always think about how our country today is so concerned about being politically correct. I think we have gone overboard on that. I don't expect my kids' schools to completely do away with the family tree project, I just think parents need to have other options and not get too offended. I can give my family as an example: Why do away with this project when I have two biological children? Shouldn't they be proud of their heritage too? Just because they weren't adopted, should we send a message to them saying because one child was adopted, their option of discovering their heritage isn't important? As parents, we need to make sure we teach our children to be proud of who they are and in my family's case, where they came from too.

So growing up and feeling alone, who did I turn to? My friends. I was with my friends a lot, they became my family and their families became mine. With them, I felt at home. My relationship with my sister had deteriated, my mom was concentrating on herself(this is the way I saw it and how I felt)and my dad remarried, so I had to rely on my friends.

Now as a 'grown up' the friends I have made throughout the years, I consider them to be my family. I call my two friends in Oregon(e) my Sistahs because I feel like they are my sisters. We shared wonderful trips together that were very emotional and close to our hearts. Today, I love both of them like sisters. I am so thankful for technology so we can stay in touch. When my friends go thru good times and bad times, I can be there for them and they for me. THAT IS FAMILY! I know I can rely on my friends for anything; for support, for prayer, to celebrate, to cry, to laugh, to 'spoon'!

I am blessed with the ability to be able to travel so if I want to see my friends, I can. I love to give gifts just because, not because it is expected, then it comes from my heart.

So for my friends out there in this big world, I love you and thank you for being there for me and most of all, for being a part of my family! (now where are my sunglasses...)